Signs You’re Too Honest

July 3, 2018  |  
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From a very young age we are taught that honesty is the best policy, but sometimes leading with your honesty can hurt more than it can help. There is a fine line between being brutally honest and hurting someone’s feelings. The problem is, if you’re too honest you may not even realize how you’re perceived by others.

It is absolutely fine to give those in your life your honest opinion, especially when you’re asked for it, however brutal honesty has serious consequences that can permanently alter your relationships.

If you’re not sure if you’re too honest, these signs should offer all the clarity you need. Once you recognize the selected behavior, you can take the steps necessary to continue to be the honest one in the group without hurting feelings and causing resentment among those you love and care about.

You Lack Empathy

Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings/emotions of others, is one of the best qualities to have when it comes to fostering long-lasting relationships. It makes people feel comfortable and vulnerable enough to pour their heart out to you without fear of judgement… it’s a quality that you probably lack due to your brutal honesty.

Though it may be hard, before you give your unfiltered truth on a situation, try to put yourself in their position. Understand how much strength it took them to confide in you and lead with that instead of being so harsh.

Friends and Family Avoid Sharing Details Of Their Life With You

If you’re ever confused about your status as being too honest, this is the easiest way to tell. When your family and friends begin to withhold certain details of their lives from you because they fear or simply don’t want to deal with your overly honest opinion, that’s a huge sign.

Things could actually get so bad that in addition to not telling about certain things, you could also become isolated from them. They may decide not to hang around you as much because what you say hurts them instead of helps.

You’re Labeled As Mean/Rude

Brutal honesty and being labeled mean and/or rude often good hand-in-hand. If you’re constantly hearing people telling you that your behavior and what you say is rude or that you’re just a mean person, then you need to do some immediate self-reflection.

Being honest should never be used as an excuse to hurt and if several people have expressed to you that your behavior does just that, then you should take the necessary steps to soften your approach a bit.

You Get Upset When People Don’t Take Your Advice

Sure, when people don’t take the advice you give them, especially when it’s asked, it can be one of the most frustrating things ever. However, you can’t get so upset that you scare people away from coming to you in the future as a sounding board for their problems.

The thing with advice is that once you give it you have to let it go. You have no control over what someone does with the advice you give them, but you can control how you react when they don’t take it.

You Don’t Know When To Be Quiet

Knowing when to shut-up is a skill that many people lack. You don’t always have to give your opinion, you don’t always have to be the loudest one in the room and you don’t always have to lead with your brutal honesty.

Sitting back and just listening can provide more support to someone that just offering your too honesty take on things. The strength of silent support shows that you are a shoulder to lean on in times of need, not someone who will make you feel even worse about your issues.

You Don’t Realize When You’ve Gone Too Far

There is a limit to everything and it’s crucial to know when your mouth, specifically your honesty, has gone too far. Crossing the line can cause irreparable damage to the relationships in your life, but if you don’t even realize that you’ve crossed it things can quickly go from bad to worse.

If you’re really in tune with your loved ones you should know what not to say to cross the line and really hurt their feelings. After all, if your goal is to hurt someone’s feelings then you have much larger issues.

People Feel Uncomfortable Around You

When you walk into a room people feel uncomfortable around you. Whether it’s because your reputation proceeds you or because you give off an uneasy vibe, being isolated because of your brutal honesty is not a good thing.

It’s up to you to make people feel comfortable around you and the easiest way to do that is to show them that you are nice, friendly and leave judgement/critiques to a minimum.

You Don’t Allow People To Make Mistakes

When someone makes a mistake that you feel was a stupid one (and it very well may be) you go off the deep end. Chances are when a mistake is made the person who did it already feels bad, so they definitely don’t need you rubbing it in and making them feel worse.

No one is perfect, we all make mistakes. Allow the people in your life to fall down and make missteps without the fear of knowing that you will hold it over their heads forever.

You Give Your Unsolicited Opinion

Inserting yourself into conversations and situations that don’t concern you is one of the most annoying traits ever. No one wants to be around someone who’s always giving their opinion when it wasn’t even asked for.

When you’re too honest, you often have the false belief that everyone can benefit from what you have to say, but that’s not true. The way you see things and live your life doesn’t work for everyone, so keep your opinions to yourself until you’re specifically asked.

Your Brutal Honesty Could Be A Sign Of Something Deeper

Hurt people, hurt people. We’ve heard this time and again and it usually rings true. If your brutal honesty is a way for you to hurt others because you are actually hurting inside, then you need to really sit down and ask yourself why.

Speaking with a professional or someone you really trust can help you get to the bottom of why you use your words as weapon against others. Was it done to you? Do you have insecurities? Are you deflecting? These are some of the questions you should ask yourself before you lead with the honesty that is negatively impacting your life.

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