My boyfriend and I dated for over three years before moving in together and I seriously highly recommend taking that much time. Just think about what a huge adjustment it is to have any new roommate—from a stranger to a friend—without the pressure of hoping to keep some chemistry, spark, or sex life alive. Just think about how hard it is to tell a platonic roommate that you need them to clean up their mess when you aren’t even worried about them wanting to have sex with you later. Yeah—the roommate/lover dynamic is complex. But, if you’ve been together for a while before you move in, spending most nights together for a couple of years, but still having separate homes, you can learn a lot of surprises from the safety of your respective apartments. Besides, what’s the rush? Here are the dangers of moving in together too early.
You aren’t comfortable being difficult
When a relationship is new, you’re still in that phase when you want to appear always agreeable, easy going, and totally chill with everything. Yeah—you can’t act that way when your partner is your roommate unless you want to wind up in a miserable living environment. But, when the relationship is fresh, you don’t yet feel comfortable asserting your preferences.