How Girls’ Night Changes From Your 20s To Your 30s

June 13, 2018  |  
1 of 15 dancing and partying

Ah aging—it’s so humbling. I was recently joking with my girlfriends about the fact that, when we were in college, we’d refer to a night on which we each had our own, personal bottle of wine at home as a night we “Weren’t drinking.” Wine barely counted as alcohol. But quiet nights spent watching TV still included copious amounts of it. In college, we’d pride ourselves on taking two complete nights off drinking in a seven-day stretch. Now that I’m a bit older, I pride myself on surviving two complete nights that involve alcohol. My, how times have changed. It’s alright; other, more gratifying things fill my time now and I don’t need all of the partying. But, I still need my girls’ nights and when I have them, I really see how age is catching up. Here is how girls’ night changes from your 20s to your 30s.


You schedule it a month out

They aren’t spontaneous. They can’t be. People have jobs and trips planned with their significant others and conferences and weddings to attend. If we’re going to get a girls’ night in the books, the email thread to plan it begins at least a month in advance.


You can’t drink the night before

We need to prepare for a girls’ night. That means no drinking the night before. It might mean no drinking the entire week before. In college, I’d happily cram a girls’ night between two other partying nights. Not now—no way.



You must nap the day of

Naps before girls’ night are a must. It’s the only way I can pretend that I’m actually capable of staying up past midnight anymore. I may also add a pressed green juice before for the health points.


Lots of driving/taxi coordination talk

Nothing is spontaneous about a girls’ night in your 30s. The text thread about who is driving from where and who can pick up whom and who will taxi back together and where people can leave their cars overnight begins five days before girls’ night.


“Do we need jackets?”

There is extensive discussion about temperature. Is the place outdoors? Do we need jackets? Are there heaters? Is there somewhere to put our jackets if we take them off? Who is wearing a jacket? A light one, or a heavy one?


Otherwise, no outfit discussion

Other than the jackets, there is no outfit talk. Remember when, in your twenties, you and your friends would text each other, asking what you’re wearing, sending pictures of your outfits, and semi-coordinating wearing similar get-ups?


You stay in more

We honestly spend most girls’ nights at someone’s home now. Bars are too loud. There is nowhere to sit at a bar, and even if there is, the stools are uncomfortable. Plus, a friend’s home might have a cute dog and good snacks.


You make nice drinks at home

We look up cocktail recipes. We text in advance about who has limes, vermouth, rim salt, and other necessities. We don’t just drink cheap bottles of wine or vodka with OJ.


At bars, you actually buy drinks

If we do go to bars, we actually A) care about the quality of the drinks and B) buy drinks there. We don’t pre-game. Pre-gaming…UGH. Even the thought of it makes my stomach turn.


There’s a line? Forget it

If there is a line of more than three people at an establishment, we aren’t going in. And, well, we would have to wait in that line because the bouncer tends to let the twenty-something’s in their tiny outfits skip the line. Not the thirty something’s in our tasteful tops and low, comfortable heels.


You have water between each drink

We make it a mission to have a full glass of water between every cocktail. We’ll wait 15 minutes to get one at the bar if we must. We can NOT become dehydrated because we cannot survive the hangover that comes with that.


You still dance, just in a corner

We still dance but, we clearly dance very differently than the twenty-something’s. They seem to know some moves we’ve never seen before. And, we dance in the corner. We don’t dance for attention. We just want to move around a little with our friends.


You order salads

As for the pre-drinking meal, it’s salads. It’s rice and vegetable bowls. It’s grilled salmon and asparagus. It is not pepperoni pizza or burgers. We must save our calories for our alcohol.


You keep track of time

We actually know what time it is. When 1:15 am hits, we turn into pumpkins. We must get out of the bar before it closes and everyone else is waiting for a taxi—we can’t get stuck in that mess. We need to be up at 9am for yoga.


Social media posts must be vetted

It is no longer acceptable to just post a video of our friends partying online without their permission. They have children and bosses and in-laws that see that stuff.

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