Pros And Cons Of Living Near Family
For many individuals, it’s pretty common to move away from family after high school. College takes us to another city, state, or even country. Then a job keeps us there. I know that at least, in my immediate friend circle, most of us don’t live in the same town as our families. Our families are not a part of the daily fabric of our lives. Our moms, dads, siblings, and cousins don’t make up a major part of our social group. We see them on special occasions. If we’re visiting them, we are on vacation. We certainly don’t know what it would be like to factor them into our real lives in the places where we work and run around to social events. If this sounds like you, and you’re considering moving back to the town where your parents live, there are some things to consider. Here are the pros and cons of living near your family.
Pro: Free sitters
You’ll never struggle to find a baby sitter or pet sitter again when you want to travel, or have a night on the town with your honey. Your older, possibly retired parents are happy for the distraction and entertainment of a cute child or pet in the house.
Con: Another social obligation
There are already so many people in your rotation of friends, who you try to see on a regular basis. Now you’ll need to add your family to that. You know that if you don’t see them weekly, they’ll be a little bit upset. So that’s just a little less free time, or one on one time with your partner.
Pro: Someone to borrow from
Need a spare set of sheets for guests? Lawn chairs for an outdoor party? Bicycle? Your family has it, and they’ll lend it to you, because they know you. Between the various family members and their belongings, there is little reason to ever buy another thing.
Con: Someone who borrows from you
Of course, that’s a double-edged sword. Your family will also often borrow from you, and you’ll often find yourself wondering when you’ll get your Crockpot or beach umbrella back.
Pro: A place to sleep during tenting/renovations
If your house needs to be tented for termites or torn up for renovations, you won’t need to spend a pretty penny on a hotel. You can just go stay with your family.
Con: They stop by unannounced
They can and will stop by unannounced. Oh yes—they will. And you can’t really tell them not to because, it breaks your heart to do that. So they could walk in while you and your partner are, eh-em. Or even just walking around the house naked. Or fighting. Or fighting naked.
Pro: You’re nearby if anything goes wrong
If anything goes wrong with your family, you’re close by. You can go to their side right away. You don’t need to deal with the anxiety and turmoil of trying to book a last minute flight to get to the hospital when someone is sick.
Con: They can dramatize things
Now, your family might be a bit dramatic. And they may make it seem like something is terribly wrong when nothing is. So you could get a lot of calls at 4am, insisting that this or that family member is very sick when, really, they just have food poisoning.
Pro: No traveling for holidays
You can save yourself a few plane tickets because you’ll just stay home for the holidays. That also means you don’t need to blow vacation days on traveling to see your family for the holidays. You can work, go to the Thanksgiving dinner, and go back to work the next day.
Con: You argue over who hosts the meal
Of course, you wind up arguing over who will host the meal. There are a lot of people with different opinions on whose home would be the most suited. There are people who don’t want to host, having it pushed on them. There are people who want to host, who can’t seem to win the job.
Pro: They get to know your kids well
Your parents and siblings can get to know your children very well. It’s so nice to have them around for those special moments like first steps, first school dances, and more.
Con: They try to take over parenting
But if your parents are around for everything, they’ll also want a say in everything. So they might put their noses where they don’t belong regarding things like your child’s curfew or where they attend high school.
Pro: Help in emergencies
You’ll always have help in an emergency. If you need to take your partner to the hospital and aren’t sure what to do with your children, you can drop them with your family in a heartbeat.
Con: Getting pegged with errands/chores
Since you are around, and you ask for help often, you’ll also be asked for help. So you could find your Saturday plans to hit the beach are derailed by your mom’s request to help her re-paint her office.
Pro: Going to weddings/reunions is easy
You can attend family weddings, reunions, and anniversary parties pretty easily. You get to be a part of a lot of these special events if you live nearby.
Con: There are too many weddings/anniversaries
You also kind of have to be a part of these events. Even if you’re burnt out and don’t want to attend one more birthday party, you don’t have the excuse that it’s too far away.