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First dates are strange, strange things. You want to let someone get to know who you really are, and you want your date to let you get to know him—it’s the only way anyone can get a sense of whether or not you’d be compatible. You want to be forthcoming, and let your true colors show. But, at the end of the day, no matter what good of a sense you get for someone on a first date, you actually barely know this person. Anyone can behave well for two hours. Anyone can seem gracious and kind for one evening. But actually, you do not know this person. Think of all the people in your life (or who you had to kick out of your life) who took months to show you their true (bad) colors. It’s very important to keep some private information private until you know this relationship is going somewhere. Here is private information you should never tell a first date.

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Names of exes

Remember that less than stable people know how to act stable for the night. You never know what a first date might do with the names of your exes, like reach out to them, and blackmail you with the information you shared about your exes. It’s really just not your date’s business whom you dated in the past, anyways.

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Your home address

Try to get through at least three dates before letting someone know where you live. If, by some chance, the second or third date goes sour and you realize this person has anger issues, you don’t want him to know where you live.

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How much money you make

There are gold diggers of every gender out there. Some men are after women’s money. Don’t tell a first date how much you make. If someone is genuine and has good intentions, he shouldn’t care how much you make, anyways.

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Chronic conditions

If you have a chronic health condition, that’s very personal. It can be alarming to some individuals. But there is no point in sharing that very private, delicate information unless you can see a future with somebody.

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How wealthy your family is

If someone isn’t after you for your money, they could be after your family. It’s generally a good idea to keep financial information and status private from people you’ve known less than a few months.

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Restraining orders you’ve put out

If you ever put out a restraining order against someone, this can be rather jarring information. It’s important that someone get to know your personality before learning this about you. Then, they won’t jump to conclusions.

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Current litigations

If you are currently suing someone or being sued, for legal reasons you should keep that information silent. But, furthermore, someone might (naturally) judge you harshly on this information before they know you.

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Past legal matters

Legal matters are complicated. There is a lot of “he said/she said” and some cases might be in a public file that you wouldn’t want a date to look up. It’s just best that someone gets to know you before knowing that you’ve been involved in any sort of litigation.

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The names of your children

If you do have children, you should certainly keep information about them, from their names to where they go to school, private. Predators look for victims everywhere, including the dating profiles of single parents.

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Where your office is

If someone knows where you work, he can stalk you. You can tell someone what you do for a living, but try not to tell them exactly where you work in case things turn volatile.

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A past addiction

Addiction is a very personal matter. If you get into a serious relationship with somebody, then you will have to tell them if you are a recovering addict. But there’s no need to be that vulnerable with somebody unless you see a future there.

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Your family’s dirty laundry

Whether a family member laundered money, or cheated on his spouse, this is private, and not something you should share with a first date. You never know what someone’s intentions are, or how they may use information against you.

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That you live alone

Definitely don’t let a first date know that you live alone. If you want, you can make up a roommate. Should things get serious with this person, he should understand that you made up that roommate for your safety.

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Reproductive issues

If you terminated a pregnancy in the past, or deal with fertility issues, that’s not something you need to tell someone until you’ve been dating for a very long time. These stories are painful, and deeply personal.

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Dark secrets

Everybody has a past. Everyone has done something they aren’t proud of. When you’ve been with someone for a while, you should be able to share this. But don’t tell your dark secrets to a first date.

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