This past week, my boyfriend and I were laying on the couch, watching TV, when he casually tossed this comment into the air: “I’m probably going to drive out to the desert for a while.” HUH?! Which desert? For how long? Where are you staying? Why are you doing this? What are you talking about?! When were you planning on telling me this? These were all thoughts that crossed my mind, and my mouth. Look, we aren’t married with kids, but we are living together with a dog and have been together for over half a decade. So I didn’t love that it seemed as if he’d just made this decision, and it was happening, when and how he wanted it to happen, regardless of what I had to say about it. I wouldn’t do something like that to him. Let me tell you, this sparked a bit of a debate on what you need to consult your long-term partner about. Some areas are iffy. So, should you consult your partner on these things?
Let’s start with that first situation I brought up in the intro—the spontaneous trip. Simply asking your partner, “I’m thinking of going on this trip this weekend—what do you think?” goes a long way. If that’s how my partner would have brought up his desert adventure to me, so long as there wasn’t something I needed help with that weekend or some other plan he’d forgotten, I would have appreciated he asked and said, “That sounds great! Good for you!” But, instead, he just said, “I’m doing this.”