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Gettyimages.com/Mature couple talking and drinking wine on patio step

“I’m too difficult to love,” “I can never trust anyone,” or “Nobody understands me” are just some of the reasons I’ve heard people give when I ask why they haven’t been in serious relationships. That last one about nobody understanding them, by the way, is a bit dramatic—don’t ya think? But a lot of adults really do feel that way. The truth is that, if you’re going to get into a serious, intimate, committed relationship, and you have intimacy issues, you’ll have to do a lot of personal work alone before getting involved with someone else. It is nobody’s job but your own to address your trust issues and trouble with intimacy. That’s too large of a task to put on another human being. That being said, even when we have worked out our issues, the right partner will help knock down a few of the last little walls, and make it feel less intimidating to trust someone. Here is how the right person will bring down your walls.

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They show you their flaws

This person won’t attempt to appear perfect to you. He will show you the fact that sometimes he is weak, insecure, selfish, and petty. He’ll show you his flaws so that you know it’s okay to show yours. He won’t try to hide his cards.

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