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After her No Boys Allowed album was released, Keri Hilson faded into the background of the R&B scene. The singer/songwriter didn’t drop anymore albums and we only caught glimpses of what she was up to through Instagram. During a recent event with the Silence the Shame organization, which aims to end stigmas around mental illness, she explained why.

“Literally, seven years of my life have been a battle with depression and I can’t say that I’m all the way clear, but I’m in the clear,” the “Energy” singer said at a Silence the Shame panel in Atlanta, GA. “When ‘Pretty Girl Rock’ was at the top of the charts, I was bearing the weight of some personal and professional mistakes and they just weighed so so so heavy on my spirit, and I was just not myself.”

Hilson revealed that even though she was living her dream she was at an all-time low mentally and after a breakup of an 11-year relationship, her depression began to worsen.

“It all just kind of spiraled for me, and became something I had never been through, I had never recognized myself as a person who can’t pick themselves back up. I mean, I was literally on stage crying.”

Hilson said that one of the ways she copes with her depression is taking breaks from social media.

“When we are not okay, when we are a little low or a lot low, there is a protection mode that has to happen because you don’t know how much our subconscious is soaking in the criticism and the praise,” she said. “For two and a half years, I went ghost from social media. I don’t need the false love or the unwarranted hate. I don’t want any of it so I just left.”

Watch the full Silence the Shame panel discussion below.

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