I believe there should be a special place reserved in hell for flaky individuals. Flaky folks don’t realize that their negligence/lack of organization/failure to pay attention to detail/laziness can derail a person’s day. Or week. Or life! For the record, I try to remove individuals from my life who regularly screw it up via their flakiness, but some individuals—like family—cannot be ejected. The worst thing about flaky people is that they usually aren’t malicious or outwardly cruel. They’re flaw, in fact, stems from a lack of positive qualities rather than an abundance of negative ones. They lack organizational skills. They lack focus. They lack perspective (like the perspective to realize you could have made other plans if you knew they were going to flake at the last minute). But even though they’re typically clueless, they’re still intolerable. Here are the worst habits of flaky people.
Giving time frames
“Let’s say we’ll meet up somewhere in the 1pm to 5pm range? Yeah? Great.” Oh terrific. So I can just keep a four-hour window open so that you can show up for, realistically, one hour of that. Of course, if I make other plans then, of course, they’ll be during the hour you wanted to hang.
Saying, “We’ll touch base that day”
How about, since we are talking right now we touch base in this moment about what we are doing that day, and at what time? When flaky people say, “Let’s touch base that day” it means, “I plan on filling that day with other, better things, and only on that morning will I know during what hour I can squeeze you in.”
Failing to check calendars
Flaky people won’t just look at their damn calendars. We live in the era of Smartphones, people! Everybody has their calendars, in their pockets. But for some reason, flaky people won’t check them, and they’ll accidentally make a plan with you on a day they have other plans.
Speaking of making other plans, flaky people double book a lot—on accident and on purpose. When they do it on purpose, you realize it because they tell you—when they sit down to the lunch you put two hours aside for—that they need to leave in 45 minutes for another engagement.
Canceling after the fact
This one is just a sin, really. When flaky people do this, they aren’t innocent or clueless: they’re spineless. Flaky people will just completely go MIA, stop responding to texts, and not show up for a plan you made. Then hours or days later text you with a long explanation.
Relying on pity plea’s
When flaky people cancel after the fact, they usually use some manipulative tactic and use a pity plea like, “OMG I was just so sad that day about this event in my life I just couldn’t pick up my phone.” How are you supposed to respond to that? An emotion made them incapable of typing?
Combining hangouts, and pretending it was purposeful
Sometimes flaky people accidentally book you, and another friend, at the same time. So you just go to their place to find another friend there, and the flaky individual acts like it was meant to be a group hang the whole time but you all know that’s a lie.
“Sorry, just saw this text!”
Oh right. The old “Just saw this text!” response. Oddly enough, they usually say that right before saying, “Also, by the way, can you do me this favor?” I call BS. They saw your original text a long time ago, didn’t want to reply, and realize that now that they want something, they must reply.
Canceling right before for a foreseeable reason
“I just realized I can’t make it because my grandma is visiting.” But their grandma had already been visiting for several days.
Booking you, when they don’t know if they can do it
It’s so unfair when flaky people ask you to pencil something into your calendar before they’ve even made sure that they can make it. For example, I’ve had a friend ask me to pencil in a date to go with her to a wedding dress fitting, and only 24 hours before the day did she actually call the dressmaker to discover the dressmaker wasn’t available.
Waiting too long to give details
Flaky people like to pretend they’re on top of things by occasionally committing to times and dates, but not giving important details. So, for example, they may say, “My birthday will be from 7pm to 10 pm on this day.” What they won’t say is that it will be on a booze cruise that leaves promptly at 7pm meaning people who arrive at 7:08 are screwed.
Leaving the organization up to you
Sometimes flaky people “make a plan” (or so they think they do), but as that day approaches, they slowly start asking you to do look into things they should have a long time ago. Suddenly you’re making reservations, and checking rates and availabilities for something that was their idea.
Seeming SO into the plan at first
Flaky people always seem SO into the plan when you first discuss it. They’re the least likely to make it, but they seem the most likely when you’re first talking about it.
Trying to make up for it
Ugh. When flaky people miss your appointment or cancel on you at the last minute, they try to make it up to you by making a new plan and you’re thinking, “I don’t want to make one more fake*ss plan with you.”
Calling you insensitive for getting upset
Flaky people never take responsibility for their actions. They tend to live in a bubble. They only think, “I don’t feel like doing this” or “this doesn’t work for me today.” It never occurs to them that you might have moved mountains and made giant accommodations to make it work. If you tell them that, they tell you that you’re being insensitive.