Why Being Busy Is Good For Your Relationship

February 9, 2018  |  
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Some couples complain that they’re so busy, they barely have time for one another. Okay, I might be in one of those couples, but I’ve also been in relationships in which neither of us had much going on in our lives—perhaps we were both working jobs we didn’t care about, and clocked out at 5pm each day—and had all the time in the world to be together. I’ll take a busy life over a stagnant one any day, even if it means I can’t watch Netflix with my partner every night of the week, or attend the Farmer’s Market religiously each Sunday. The reality is that people aren’t happy when they aren’t busy. If you aren’t busy, that means you probably aren’t chasing your dreams. I mean, hello: how could you have tons and free time and be going after your goals? Those are two conditions that don’t coexist. And when you aren’t chasing your goals, you wind up feeling insecure, inadequate, depressed, bored…and a lot of other things that are bad for a relationship. Here is why being busy is actually good for your relationship.

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You have stories to share

When you meet up at the end of the day, you have stories to share. You’ve had experiences that prompt interesting conversations, analysis, debates, and jokes. When you are together, your conversation is diverse and animated.

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You have perspective on your partner

You know exactly where your partner stands in relationship to the rest of the potential guys out there because you actually spend time with other men. Too many women are in bad relationships and don’t even realize how less-than-great their boo is, all because they have nothing to compare to.

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You have perspective on your relationship

You also have perspective on your relationship because you witness other relationships, or hear other people talking about their relationships. It’s not just you, your partner, and your dog, all day every day.

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You don’t panic when your partner is busy

You don’t feel abandoned when your partner is busy—you always have something to do so you’re never left in the dust. In other words, you don’t even have time to be clingy.

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Alone time is cherished

When you do finally get to be together, you actually cherish that time. Couples who have nothing but time together wind up not really appreciating any of the time they spend alone.

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You actually plan for special, one-on-one time

You actually make a point to plan for one-on-one time, and to make it special. Couples who are just always together tend to stop making time together special. They take it for granted, and don’t plan special activities.

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Your ambition is attractive to one another

Your partner finds your ambition, your social tendencies, and your curiosities about other people and the world attractive. You find the same things attractive about him.

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It keeps you flexible

In case you haven’t noticed, people who do very little think they are extremely busy. We all have that one friend who is too exhausted to make it to happy hour because she did laundry and picked up a prescription that day. Meanwhile, busy people tend to have more energy and are more open to last minute-invitations. That makes your relationship more fun!

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You’re both grateful for vacations

Here’s another difference between busy and non-busy people: busy people appreciate vacation. They don’t fixate on the distance between their hotel room and the pool. They’re just excited that, for a few days, they don’t need to look at clocks or calendars. They’re just excited that they are in a hotel and have access to a pool! Busy people are generally more grateful for down time than those who always have downtime.

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You broaden one another’s horizons

You and your partner introduce one another to new worlds, experiences, and people. You have several networks of friends and acquaintances. The things you do together broaden your horizons and open your minds.

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You don’t grow tired of one another

You certainly won’t grow tired of one another if you have to fight to make time to even see each other. Bickering about dumb things is pretty infrequent within busy couples.

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You’re better at managing time

They say give jobs to busy people, because busy people are better at managing time. Their few pockets of free time are precious, and so they know exactly when they are, keep calendars expertly, and are very well-organized.

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You might be more financially stable

If you’re busy, that could be a good sign that you’re employed! And very employed at that. You might worry about money less if you’re a couple that’s always busy.

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You learn what you really mean to each other

It’s easy to make an effort in a relationship when you have nothing going on outside of that relationship. But when you’re super busy, you put your relationship to the test, and you find out just how much it means to you. Isn’t it nice to know that your partner will make time for you, even when he has very little of it?

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You have other avenues for happiness

You don’t rely solely on each other to be happy. You have plenty of other rich, fulfilling relationships and engaging activities in your life that bring you joy. So when you and your partner have a little riff, it doesn’t send you into a depression.

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