Today, if you wait just three dates to have sex with a guy, your friends consider you patient and the guy himself might even consider you hard-to-get. In a world where many romantic comedies feature one-night-stands that turn into marriages, and people mention Tinder in their wedding vows, it can be easy to be tricked into believing that having sex right away with someone is not only no big deal, but a normal part of finding love. That simply isn’t true. No matter how much we have changed as a society, the fact remains that sex is really intimate. As a woman, you literally let someone inside of your body. Sex also results in a chain reaction of hormones surging in our bodies that tell us we’re connected to this person. You should do what you want with your body, but if you’re wondering what it may be like to hold off on sex, here’s what happens when you wait three months to have sex with a guy.
You filter out the creeps
You filter out the guys who just wanted to have sex with you and disappear right away. Even the guys willing to pretend they want a relationship for a couple of dates to sleep with you aren’t willing to pretend they want one for three months. Buh-bye.
You filter out the potential cheaters
Then there are the men who really can’t go three months without having sex. It’s good to know this about a guy because what would happen if you were in a serious relationship and you were sick or traveled for three months? What would he do then?
You realize your sex drive clouded your judgment
You realize that, in the past, you’ve thought you liked guys, all because you had sex with them. Maybe they were really good in bed, and you confused your joy of that with liking them for their personalities.
You realize sex can create a fake bond
You also realize that sex can make you feel close and bonded to someone when you really don’t know them that well. If you wait to have sex, you learn which guys you actually feel comfortable with.
You find out which men respect your request
It turns out some guys seem perfectly nice until you make them wait to have sex. Then they start trying to push your boundaries, and get you to do something you have explicitly stated you don’t want to do.
You keep your head on straight
You see things much more clearly. It’s obvious to you, after a few dates, just how few guys you’re really compatible with. There is no sex there to make a mess of things and confuse you.
Sometimes, it’s very difficult
Okay real talk, sometimes you have a hard time sticking to your rule. You have times you’re making out with a guy and have to work very hard not to break your rule.
You help yourself, which makes you calm on dates
You have to masturbate more just to get by, and you learn the magic of doing so before a first date—you go into that date with laser vision about the guy’s personality and your compatibility.
There’s a lot of pressure when you finally do
There can be a lot of pressure when you do finally reach that three-month milestone with a guy. If things aren’t perfect, you can feel like you waited all that time for nothing. But you have to remember that the first time is often awkward, whether or not you wait.
But it can also be really nice
The first time you do it with a guy can also be really nice. It seems to symbolize a new level of your relationship—like things are getting more serious. If you have sex on the first date, there isn’t much to trigger a new level until you move in together.
You recognize and respect the strength of your hormones
You realize that your hormones are formidable and almighty things that you should take much more seriously.
You have to see what else you have in common
You’re forced to discover what you have in common besides a sex drive. You can’t just rely on hopping in the sack to compensate for a lack of conversation.
You go on really cool dates
You also can’t spend too much time at one another’s homes because the temptation to have sex is too strong. As such, you go on a lot of unique dates.
You’ve built up communication
By the time you do it, you typically have really great communication and are so comfortable with each other that it can be some of the best sex ever.
You realize how much sex you’ve had for the wrong reasons
You realize how many times you’ve slept with someone because you were bored, because you were lonely, or because you thought it’s just “what you do.”