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Gettyimages.com/Returning soldier kissing wife in hallway

When we hear of soldiers being deployed, or those stationed at army and military bases, we typically think of their experiences—what it’s like to get up at 5 am and go through intensive drills all day long, what it’s like to sleep on a small cot, what it’s like to fear for one’s life and so much more many of us should be lucky to never experience. But there’s one thing we can forget about: the people our soldiers leave behind. For every individual who is deployed, there is a network of heartbroken and frightened people left behind. One group, in particular, must have a very hard time, and that’s the significant others of military members. Imagine falling in love with and hoping to build a life with someone you often don’t see for months at a time—and someone who you’re not always sure is coming back. Here are realities military wives and girlfriends understand.

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You feel left out of girls night/girl talk

It’s not as if you have tons of recent stories and anecdotes from your relationship—you may not have spent time with your partner in months. You can’t swap ideas for good date night spots or fun museums to visit as a couple. You haven’t been able to do those things in a while.

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