All Articles Tagged "reconciliation"
He Wants That Old Thing Back: It Looks Like Kordell Stewart Is Trying To Go Back To His ‘Irretrievably Broken’ Marriage
It was a little over one month ago when we first reported that former NFL star Kordell Stewart had filed for divorce from his wife Porsha Stewart, claiming that his marriage is “irretrievably broken.” Not long after our report, a representative on behalf of Porsha revealed that the grieving reality star learned of her estranged husband’s filing through the media. She later revealed that she never actually wanted to get a divorce and that she was deeply hurt by Kordell’s insensitivity.
Expressing that she was blindsided by the divorce, Porsha appeared to be a deer caught in the headlights, tragically subject to her estranged husband’s cruelty. With each passing day, the broken hearted reality star revealed more and more about Kordell’s surprise divorce filing and even though she kept it real about how hurt she was, she appeared to be getting stronger and coming to terms with what happened. Kordell on the other hand, seemed to be doing the exact opposite. If his recent Instagram posts serve as any indication of how he’s currently feeling about his relationship with Porsha, chances are he’s had a change of heart and is hoping to work things out. First the retired Pittsburgh Steelers player shared of photo of he and Porsha during happier times.
When an Instagram follower encouraged him to work things out with Porsha he responded:
“… love that woman.”
Another follower suggested that he “get his baby back” and leave reality TV. He responded:
He also appeared to be doing a little self-reflecting.
Ironically, during a recent interview with Hollywood Life, Porsha expressed that she’s feeling at peace and that a reconciliation is the furthest thing from her mind right now.
“You know, I really don’t have the space in my mind to consider that right now. I’m in the middle of a divorce, so reconciliation is not at the top of my list. So, that’s not something I’m thinking about,” the reality star expressed.
What do you make of this? Should Porsha consider working things out with Kordell?
If you thought Kobe was going to be officially back on the market, think again, because love is in the air. It appears Mrs. Bryant has decided to let bygones be bygones.
Vanessa announced on Friday via Instagram that they are back on track:
Kobe took his comments to Facebook:
“I am happy to say that Vanessa and I are moving on with our lives together as a family. When the show ends and the music stops, the journey is made beautiful by having that someone to share it with. Thank you all for your support and prayers! Much luv, Mamba out”
Well, isn’t that sweet. Not to throw any salt into this because most thought this would happen, but according to TMZ, some new developments have surfaced that are making things copacetic in the Bryant household. Their sources – or maybe, their assumptions – Kobe may have signed a post-nup agreement which allows Vanessa to be considerably more financially “comfortable” in the relationship. Vanessa also still owns two of the three mansions Kobe gave her back in 2011 – around the time she filed for divorce. Looks like she’s definitely coming out on top with their new found commitment to each other.
This probably doesn’t come as much of a surprise because they’ve been joined at the hips for months. Vanessa never really gave up her position in the tunnel at the Staples Center after Kobe leaves the court after games. They’ve also been spotted out on several dates in Los Angeles and the icing on the cake was their beautiful Christmas car which included their children.Vanessa’s also very vocal on Instagram, snapping back at anyone who might have less than positive words to say about her relationship.
Since Kobe’s doing so well off the court, maybe he needs to enlist Vanessa’s help to get him and the rest of the Lakers back on track.
Good luck to them!
In Cased You Missed It: After Being Close To Divorce LAST Christmas, Kobe And Vanessa Bryant Reunite For Holiday Photo
As the title of this post says, it was just December of last year that Vanessa Bryant filed for divorce from Kobe Bryant and folks were talking about homegirl possibly receiving a whopping $75 million and three homes in a divorce settlement. Last Christmas, it was safe to say that the smiles from the couple were few and far between when it comes to being directed at one another. This year that is now coming to a close, according to their lawyers, was supposed to be the time that they dissolved their marriage. But this year has seen Vanessa and Kobe moving about together, Vanessa showing up at games, Kobe with his family, all smiles again. And they have closed out this year with a holiday photo that is the kind of cute pic I’m used to (move over Shaunie and the Kardashians) as everyone is rocking big smiles and fabulous Christmas colors. Well, Kobe is wearing a suit, but I doubt anybody wanted to see him in a Cosby Christmas sweater. Vanessa also snapped a glammed up pic with her daughters, Natalia (to the far right in both pics) and Gianna, as she rocked the velvet green Gucci dress that was a celebrity favorite this year.
I can’t confirm for you if all this means that they are one big happy family and that the couple is working on resolving issues that put them on the brink of divorce this time last year. It would make sense though, because in June they were putting they were said to allegedly be putting their split on hold for the time being, but either way, it’s nice to see them putting on a happy face for their lovely daughters. They’ve been down with one another for a while now (and she’s put up with hellas), and if they can make it work, then that’s what’s up! Here’s to a happy 2013 to them, and kudos on delivering a very fun and, dare I say, human holiday photo for such high-profile people. Do you like the photo?
Photos courtesy of the Daily Mail and Instagram.
We talked about Evelyn Lozado and Jennifer Williams hugging and making up on the reunion show yesterday, but did the two really work it out off-camera? Considering the show was taped a little over a month ago, you’d think that would be sufficient time for two busy best friends who’ve been fighting for an entire season-and-a-half to have a little chat on the phone at least, right?
VH-1 was wondering the same thing and they sat down with Evelyn to get the scoop on how much making up these two have actually done in real life. Here’s what she said:
VH1: When we spoke before the reunion, no one had any idea how it would go, it was pretty tense beforehand. So when you and Jennifer got on stage and actually reconciled and hugged, that was big, but she said “I don’t want to do this here,” and it sounded like you guys would have a follow up conversation. Did that happen?
“I sent her an email just letting her know that I meant what I said on the reunion, I didn’t want her to think that it was just a reunion stunt, and she responded, she wished me happy mother’s day, and we said we would talk, and that was the last of it because I’ve been all over the place. We haven’t spoken since then.”
VH1: Do you want to pursue it and speak with her, or are you just going to see where things go on their own?
“I’m just taking things one day at a time, it’s still a sticky situation with everything else that’s going on, so I’m just not doing anything.”
VH1: Were you surprised by how it played out at the reunion?
“Yeah, I was. I didn’t think that that was what would happen, but I’m also glad and relieved and it was a load off. And it also shows that we can be grown adults and women and move past it. We can fight, argue, whatever, and then bury the hatchet.”
VH1: Shaunie made that statement about finding a balance on the show at the very beginning of the reunion, and by the end of the reunion, it really did seem like you guys were working to be more positive.
“Yeah, it was a great response at the reunion and on my Twitter feed, it’s all been very positive. Because it was tough during the season. It’s been insane. But we’re good.”
“Insane” is an understatement, but it’s nice to hear that their reconciliation wasn’t just for show, although it still is a little odd they haven’t actually talked yet. Jen’s probably taking her sweet time before re-entering the world of Chad and Ev, but who knows, she might end up showing up for the wedding!
Do you think it’s odd Jen and Evelyn haven’t spoken since their reconciliation?
Alissa Henry is a freelance writer living in Columbus, OH. Follow her on Twitter @AlissaInPink
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Although it takes a while to get there, there’s something awesome about that period of time when a woman, post a big breakup, finally gains her peace of mind and full happiness back. You can listen to sentimental and sad love songs without feeling some kind of way, you can talk about your ex without wanting to call him up and go postal (maybe), and you’re either enjoying being alone and independent, or trying your hand at getting back into the dating game. As nice as this place is to be in mentally, I’m sure many women have had an ex who just wouldn’t let her have that peace. Just when you were “getting back to happy,” ‘ol boy you used to cry over slowly but surely starts trying to make his way back into your life. It all starts with a text, or a call, but once you start entertaining him, it’s hard to stop. If your ex-man does the following, it’s probably because he wants to get back right with you. It’s up to you to determine if you’re going to let it happen though…
While Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez have been separated for about nine months, Anthony just decided to file for divorce last Monday. Word on the street is, he was hoping that the renaissance woman would want to reconcile, but she passed because she’s in love–with someone else.
You’ve guessed it, she’s allegedly head over heels in love with her young new boo, and background dancer, Casper Smart. Though both Anthony and Lopez thought they were being cute flaunting their new relationships around, including Anthony with a young woman named Shannon De Lima in photos he posted on Facebook, he must have not been as serious with her as he led folks to believe. According to TMZ, Anthony tried to have a serious sit-down with Lopez a few weeks back to see if there was a possibility they could work things out, but she allegedly let him know that she’s in love with Smart and that she wants to see where that relationship can and will go. Marc was allegedly upset at the fact that Lopez was trying to make more of this new relationship rather than working on their issues. He assumed that she and Smart were just a temporary rebound, but it looks like he was wrong.
Lopez has really been open with the public when it comes to her boo-ship with Smart. I mean, homeboy has been getting the chance to help direct her recent videos, he’s been seen jet-setting everywhere with her, dancing with her on TV, canoodling with her in music videos, etc. (It’s like another Bennifer all over again.) I can believe that she’s sprung, but she needs to be careful. She didn’t allow herself any real time to just be alone post-separation and now all eyes are on her and her new man. Yeah, I know the saying: love is blind. But Jennifer, there’s also a better saying: “Don’t be no fool.” The whole dating while separated thing…I just don’t get it, but to each their own.
Do you think they should work things out? Or do you think Jennifer is happy and her relationship with Casper will last?
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I think TLC broke down what a real friend is about best: “What about your friends?/Will they stand their ground?/Will they let you down again?/What about your friends, are they gonna be low down?/Will they ever be around…or will they turn their backs on you?”
No one imagines that the friend they confide in, hang out with on the regular, and even consider a sister, would turn their backs on a friendship, but when it does happen, it hurts. It’s almost like a bad breakup. If you and the ex-friend roll in a group, the friends you share become like kids stuck in a bitter divorce. If they want to hang out with you, your ex-friend doesn’t want to be around, and if you all do end up in the same place, you and the ex-homie don’t even speak. At some point, if you’ve known that individual for a long time, you wonder whether or not you should try and fight for your friendship (c’mon, losing those childhood friends over small stuff is stupid), or if you’ve got to do like Keyshia Cole said and “Let it Go.” Caught in a situation like this now? Here are a few factors that might help you make a decision about the future of your friendship.
How Important is This Friendship?
When you and a friend fall out, it can definitely be a stressful time. There’s unnecessary tension, a lot of confusion, and it’s going to take a minute for people to put their pride aside to work things out. While you’re dealing with all this you should ask yourself how much of a friend this “friend” really was. Were they always starting drama? Did they exhibit a lot of shady behavior? Or did they show you a lot of love and loyalty in the time that you were cool? Depending on what side of the fence they fall on, you can decide if the friendship is worth saving or if homegirl was doing too much for you anyway…
Are They Going Through Something Bigger Than Your Beef?
Sometimes the circumstances of life can put people in emotional states where they end up lashing out at the people who care about them most. Whether it’s a bad breakup, the death of someone close to them, a stressful job situation–if someone is going through it, they might unintentionally put you through it too. If they rarely exhibit the behavior that caused you to fall out, you might want to give them their space and time, but still try and let them know that you care. While things might not be the same later, once they get through their situation, they might regret their decisions and want to make things right. If they matter to you, it never hurts to leave that door open for the future, even if you don’t feel like being bothered with the drama for the moment.
If They’re Upset With You, Do You Know Why?
Nothing is probably worse than when you have a friend stop calling you, stop texting you, and just go M.I.A. when it comes to you for some big reason. And it gets 10 times worse when you have no clue what that reason is. A lot of people often flip out when they realize someone is mad at them, rather then trying to figure out what the real deal is. I think that before you call it quits, you should put forth the effort to figure out why your friend has become so upset and see if you can work things out. There isn’t a standard number of phone calls that you should make or a number of emails you should send, but if you’ve known that person forever, you might not want to give up so easily.
Are You Doing All the Work?
Are you the one doing all the calling and the only one trying to make contact? It’s cool to put forth a strong effort to show your friend you want to figure things out, but if they’re not doing a damn thing, you might want to start thinking about cutting your losses…The last thing I’m sure you want is a friend who thinks they’re doing you a favor by working things out with you and doesn’t seem as excited about reconciliation as you do.
Is This Individual ALWAYS Like This?
What fun is a friend who always blows up about the smallest things, gets upset, and then goes M.I.A. to get her point across? Friends who deserve an Academy Award for their theatrics are usually a lot of work, and if you’re down for that, then that’s cool. But if this friend and their behavior are becoming too much for you, it might be time to re-evaluate how much you really want them around. Because even if you work things out now, homegirl might spaz out again a few months from now, and who needs all that drama continuously?
Have You Looked At Things From All Sides?
It’s pretty easy to think your friend is overreacting about whatever you all are at odds about, but I’ve found that asking people their thoughts OUTSIDE the drama works to gain a better perspective. Whether that’s mom, a sister, or a boyfriend (who has good sense), looking for the bigger picture from an outside party might help you figure out if you’re tripping, if you you have the right to trip, and if working things out is the best option for you and this friend of yours.
What factors help you determine if your friendship is worth saving?
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I’ve met a lot of people who have touched my life in my line of work as a blogger. When you’re online as much as I am, you can get attached to people whom you’ve never met. You get close. You share things. You begin to feel for them. However, the new media we use doesn’t protect us against an old fashioned backstabbing.
So nothing hurts more than when a person whom you’ve trusted–and even helped and done favors for, turns out to be a complete Judas. So here I am, broken and a little bit bloody, trying my best to figure out how to move forward. I’ve always had a motto: Everyone is a friend until proven otherwise. The problem with that is sometimes “friends” ingratiate themselves for a period of time until an attachment is formed, and it hurts more when you discover they weren’t friends, they were…well, “otherwise.”
But I’m no special snowflake. Friendship betrayal happens every minute of everyday. The key to winning is to know how to deal with the Judas once you see that snake in your freshly-mown grass.
Got something great going on in your life? Then get ready. Most turncoats react when the Green-Eyed Monster comes. “There are people in everyone’s life who get jealous of a friend’s success or happiness and retaliate,” says Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D, (aka “Dr. Romance”) psychotherapist and author of It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction. “Sometimes friends who feel unsuccessful will drift away or cut you off when you have the success they’re longing for. Most jealousy arises when someone feels insecure or threatened — that someone will get the attention she wants. The most important thing you can do is to remember that when you handle jealousy properly, it does not have to be a disaster.”
Dr. Tessina gave me some specific advice, but I’ll have to admit that some of it will be a hard pill to swallow for some:
- Sensitively and diplomatically handle jealous friends
People who react this way are usually in a lot of emotional pain about their own lives. Be as understanding as you can, be willing to listen to your friend’s feelings to a reasonable degree, but don’t let their struggle ruin your good feelings about yourself. If you can, offer the friend time alone with you, to help her feel special and important. Often, publicly thanking her for nice things she’s done can help keep her pacified.
- Understand underlying causes of bad behavior:
People who have always felt competitive toward you are likely to misbehave so they can get attention in that way. If someone’s behavior becomes a problem, set some limits. Tell the friend directly what actions are unacceptable (like making nasty remarks when you’re around other friends), and let her know you can’t be her friend if her behavior doesn’t improve.
- Figure out what you both think a good friend actually is
Don’t be afraid to talk to friends about what friendship means to you–is it okay to cancel a date with a girlfriend (or her with you) because you get a better offer from a man? Because of family illness or problems? What does “being there” mean to each of you? How much loyalty do you expect in the friendship, and what does that mean?
- Honesty minimizes jealousy.
Lying to your friend about whether you have broken an agreement does more damage than breaking the agreement. If you do something with another friend, tell the truth–don’t protect the jealous friend. It gives her a false impression.
If your so-called “friend” isn’t returning your calls, says no to any invitations, and doesn’t make any moves in your direction, you’ve probably been dumped. The best way to find out is to stop making any contact, and see if the friend contacts you. Don’t turn into a stalker. Your friend might be newly in love, have an illness, or just have some really deep issues going on that you sadly won’t know about unless you hear through gossip. If she’s angry at you, she should have told you, but some folks just prefer to act childish and disappear.
- How to break-up
If you have a real, identifiable reason to break up your friendship, get your thoughts about it in order, and tell your soon to be ex-friend what the problem is. If it’s some kind of bad behavior that could possibly be fixed, let her know what she could do: “___, I am very uncomfortable with your drinking and the behavior you exhibit when you’re drunk. I just don’t want to be around it. If you ever decide to quit drinking, let me know.” If you’ve just grown apart, or your life has become too busy (new baby; traveling for work; caring for invalid) for this friendship, don’t be afraid to tell your friend about your time constraints: “___, I’m sorry, but my life has changed, and I just can’t manage our usual get-togethers.” If she’s insulted you, tell her your feelings are hurt, and you don’t want to take the risk of being hurt again. Let her know what kind of contact, if any, you’d be willing to have. If none, then block her off your phone, Facebook, etc.
- How to deal post-friendship
If and when you meet accidentally, just be polite and cool. You don’t want to cause any scenes in public. If you have friends in common, it’s more difficult. You can ask your friends to let you know if the ex-friend will be at a gathering, but don’t ask them not to invite her. Instead, make your own decision on whether you want to be there or not. If you do go, once again, be polite and cool. But just remember to keep your distance.
Christelyn D. Karazin is the co-author of “Swirling: How to Date, Mate and Relate Mixing Race, Culture and Creed” (to be released April 2012), and runs a blog, www.beyondblackwhite.com, dedicated to women of color who are interested and or involved in interracial and intercultural relationships. She is also the founder and organizer of “No Wedding, No Womb,” an initiative to find solutions to the 72 percent out-of-wedlock rate in the black community.
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I guess love was in the Los Angeles air pretty strongly for Valentine’s Day yesterday because it was enough to bring Kobe and Vanessa Bryant back together.
I’m pretty sure every fan’s jaw dropped when Vanessa marched into the Staple’s Center for the first time this season during the third quarter of last night’s game and took a seat right behind the Laker’s bench—wearing a red top and showing a lot of cleavage nonetheless. The two didn’t leave any thoughts of reconciliation up to speculation, Vanessa was cheering her assumed soon-to-be ex on hardcore an after the game, Vanessa and Kobe were seen sharing a serious kiss before he even got a chance to shower.
Either Kobe’s trying to get a house and some of that $75 mil back, or these two are really giving their relationship another try. Since the divorce won’t be final until mid-June, they’ve definitely got time to put this whole thing behind them. The question is, should they?
Are you surprised Vanessa was at Kobe’s game last night? Do you think it was just a Valentine’s Day rendezvous or could they be getting back together?
Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.
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