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For two people who have a child together, and used to have a pretty serious relationship, it can be tough to get back to a friendship for the sake of the kids involved. According to Lisa Wu, she was working on her friendship with her ex-husband Ed Hartwell after the pair split in 2011. Things were going well.
And then he got married to Keshia Knight Pulliam and all hell broke loose.
Of course, we’ve heard about the engagement and marriage, the baby girl on the way, and we even heard from Big Tigger on Pulliam and Hartwell’s whirlwind romance. But the one voice you really didn’t hear much from was Wu’s. With that being said, she had a lot to get off her chest, which she shed on the first episode of Season 3 of Hollywood Divas.
In a conversation with friend and blogger Tami Reed, Wu admitted she felt “blindsided” by news of her ex-husband marrying Pulliam. Wu claimed she even introduced the two. And hearing this major information for the first time from the former couple’s 8-year-old son, EJ, made it all the more “heartbreaking.”
“I feel some kind of way that I had to find out about the situation, first being engaged to Keisha, then I had to find out about him getting married from EJ.”
After revealing that she and Pulliam weren’t close, but rather, just “industry cool,” Wu went from throwing slight shade (“It happened quick, but he and I did get married quick. He moves fast. Obviously she does, too.”), to breaking down in tears.
“It was disrespectful because we were best friends…You couldn’t tell me or trust me to say, ‘Hey, I’m about to get married’? We’re better than that! And we’re co-parenting, so that’s a problem for me, dude,” Wu said. “When you marry someone else, it changes the dynamics of how you deal with each other.”
Wu said that she would be fine because “As long as my son is happy, I’m happy.” All this as her friend exclaimed that Wu was a better woman than her, because she wouldn’t have been too happy with Pulliam: “I would have beat her a–!”
But is it really that deep?
In a way, I could understand where Wu was coming from. I often say that communication is the cornerstone of a good romantic relationship, but really, such is the case for any relationship. And when you’re attempting to co-parent with someone, good communication is vital.
Sure, you don’t have to tell every bit of your business, but anything that could impact the future of your child is something that should be shared with the other party. A person who is around sometimes becomes a stepmom or stepdad when a marriage happens, and it would be nice if every individual involved directly in a child’s life was on the same page.
But, at the same time, I thought Wu felt entitled to this information. If I’m being honest, I think her feelings had less to do with EJ, and more to do with her disappointment in Hartwell moving on fast — or at least faster than her. It’s clear in the tears that fall from her face when she said, “We’re better than that!” She had the right to feel some type of way, but in reality, it’s not like he hid an ugly secret from her. The lack of communication is problematic, but really, how much does a person owe their ex?
The good news is, Wu and Hartwell were able to sort things out, and they’ve done so just in time as Pulliam is expecting. As Wu told HipHollywood, “We are actually great. After I got it out and addressed it, it’s fine. EJ’s happy, that’s all I care about. I was disappointed, but life moves on.”
She continued, “We will probably end up being like Bruce Willis and Demi Moore and their situation, you know how you blend?”
And as HipHollywood pointed out, Pulliam loves little EJ. She reinforces that he only gets one mom, and Wu is that.
“I personally don’t like the term stepmom,” Pulliam told the Huffington Post. “I love EJ and let him know that he only has one mom and he receives double the love. We spend lots of quality time together and have nicknames for each other which works well for us.”
With all that being said, I’m glad to know that these three have been able to keep the peace and be happy co-parents for the sake of the child involved. But the situation as a whole begs the question, just to set the record straight: How important is it to let your ex/co-parent know you’re getting married sooner rather than later?
