You Sure You Wanna Eat That, Now? 10 Foods Too Messy For Public Consumption

September 2, 2013 ‐ By Charing Ball
foods too messy

Source: Shutterstock

Yesterday on my Facebook page, I shared with the world how there was nothing sadder on this planet than a lollipop with a crack or crater in it. To which a old friend of mine chimed in that the comment alone was going to have every dude in my network trying to give me their phone number.

My friend was joking of course, however it got me thinking about the litany of foods, which have no place in public consumption. Like the lollipop. While probably my favorite of confectionery treats, around certain dirty minds, my tongue and lip game around the stick and candy ball gives the wrong (, specially wrong that you think I’m doing that to you) idea.

Don’t get me wrong: if you are starving like Marvin for a Cool J song, by all means, eat whatever you can get your hands on. But if you can wait, please wait to have this top ten list of messy delectables until you are in the comforts of your own homes. In case you were wondering yes, most of these are what we call, straight ig’nance.

MadameNoire Video

Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN
  • scandalous7

    what a dumb article.

  • Really Tho?

    I LOVE the way people are seriously getting so upset over this. It’s a joke! You act as if she’s telling you don’t eat this stuff ever again. Why get upset over an article?? An inanimate piece of literature designed for ENTERTAINMENT!

  • jonesie

    Shutup. I’ll eat what I want when I want.

  • Abbas BAKER

    Is this post some kind of a joke? Should we quit eating those foods just because of some racist jokes?

  • draydray

    Don’t know if corn dogs were on the list but that’s when I get the most perverted glares


    I eat my banana while i drive windows down, perverts can burn in

  • yP

    I thought bananas was on the list because it looks kinda sexual lml

  • 92-was-a-i-great-year

    Look like somebody needed something to write about. Ignorance should never come to mind on a slow new day

  • nolimit_soldier

    Back in my day pickles were a big deal and issue especially with the women. To this day whenever my wife eat a pickle I purposefully make sexual moans lol (I just fawk w her though) she do the same when I lick the filling of an ice cream sandwich (the ONLY ice cream I prefer btw))

  • Bren

    I read the entire list. I will eat WHAT I want WHEN I want it because I BOUGHT IT! I love bananas because they are healthy and are a quick fix in the morning when I can’t sit and eat breakfast before rushing off to work. I love watermon because it is full of water and also delicious. As far as corn, I just peeled 6 ears of them with my bare hands and my family will be eating them tonight. I will say that satin ice cream from. cone on a hot sunny day is a headache because it melts so fast that eating it is not enjoyable but a competition. Fried chicken: not a fan. Don’t like curry because of the smell and its level of spiciness. I love mangoes and will deal with the messiness of cutting one up so I can indulge. Stereotypes surrounding food mean nothing to me lest I care more about what others think than what I think.

    • bluekissess

      Agreed. You tell em

  • Mia

    Mine is BBQ wings. I literally have to have a make out session with those wings and you can’t do that trying to look cute for a guy and protect ur nails. Honey I come home, pull down the shades, put on my Aunt Jemima scarf, (Sweet Brown voice) “get me a cole pop”, un button my pants and go to town!

  • sabrina

    The Powdered Doughnut slide had me dying! Lol! But yeah, eating an ice cream cone always have me feeling a tad bit awkward when I’m around other people (read: men). I try to eat it as innocently as possible and make sure I don’t make eye contact with anyone because I ain’t trying to give no one any ideas.

  • Issa

    I stopped at bananas because that was just ignorant! WTF, WHAT! Excuse me; but you have to seriously, have deep underlying issues with your skin color causing you to think in this manner. Let me guess, you never buy watermelon or fried chicken. STFU!

    • chanela

      That was actually kinda the next slide. Lol

    • Moya Oneilla Rose-Miller

      I too who the fawk is writing these novels some insecure metally enslaved beeetch my black azzzzzz will eat my bananas where the fawk I want….that isht really boiled my blood