Separating the Women From the Girls: Are You The Queen Of The Throne?

January 27, 2013  |  


At the recent inauguration for Barack Obama, you’d think all of the attention would be focused on our re-elected President. However, it was the First Lady who grabbed headlines: from her fresh new bob to her now famous side eye, it was all about Michelle. And rightfully so. She’s what one might call a queen. Not in the British Royal Family way, but in how she carries herself…and all queens command attention.

I’ve heard many women lament about finding their own “Barack,” but what I’ve also noticed is that a lot of those same women complaining about finding their king have not yet become the queen they were meant to be. This isn’t to throw shade or knock anyone for not being “perfect” – none of us are. I simply mean to suggest that finding your king requires that you be every bit of the queen a king would be looking for and if you know you aren’t your best self, your king will never find you. There is no set rulebook for being a queen by everyone’s standards, but there is definitely a difference between a girl and a fully realized woman. If you’re unsure if you’ve reached your “queenly-ness” yet, consider these traits that almost all dynamic women have. A Queen…

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  • old school

    Do not think that you are not all that and a bag of chips just because you aren’t married. Yes, the list is good but married women need to work on those things too. If you feel that you aren’t married because you aren’t “there” yet, just look at your married female friends. You are stronger is some areas and they are stronger in some. We need to get past evaluating ourselves based upon who we have in our lives – if we have God, we’re good and we will be working on self anyway.

  • scandalous7

    Ive seen way too many black women violating number 10 in disproportionate numbers. No wonder we have that stereotype. Lets get it together.

  • GalaxyEmpress

    Michelle Obama is the Royal Black Empress of the United States of America. Please go look up the original meaning of Queen and refrain from calling black women such…..


    Black people once and for all need get rid of the silly idea of them being queens and kings.

    • Bee

      What’s wrong with that? Any individual can wear an invisible crown for their own esteem – not just black people. It’s more of a mentality than a title – at least that’s how I take it.


        It’s a poor mentality to have for various reasons. Answer me this – What makes Black men kings and Black women queens?

    • Natasha T

      And other races don’t think of themselves as king and queens too?


        What does what other races do have to do with this list and what I said?

    • duty duty

      You sound ridiculous….

      • Bee

        Right. Never argue with a fool. I said what I said.


          I am a ‘fool’ for having an opinion that doesn’t align with yours? Also, why are you telling him/her not to argue with me when I did not even have dialogue with this person? I am the ‘fool’, but yet, you think “You sound ridiculous…” is a good response?


        I ‘sound’ ridiculous for saying something that you do not agree with?

    • exactly. africa was not ,and is not, a utopian continent where no “ism” exists. not every black person is descended from african royalty; there had to be slaves,etc. anyway,what a classist thing to instill in black children. is being descendants of working class or poor africans not honorable?

      • Ravens

        You know what? Seeing all the groupthink here leads me to believe that these people don’t even know why they refer to Black women and men as queens and kings. It is just something they picked up because it sounds good to them.

        • false sense of importance. i don’t need to look at african royalty to be proud of being black;sojourner truth is one of my heroes.

  • 2013lady

    I really liked this list and agree wholeheartedly. Only thing missing is that a queen “knows God and shares Him with others.”


      That wasn’t missing. It is a personal preference to believe in a deity.

      • 2013lady

        It’s also a personal preference to exercise, but I see that made the list. Pick and choose what suits you from the list; doesn’t mean that all apply. But it was definitely missing.


          You cannot compare exercising to believing in a deity.

  • Thatgirl45

    Good list. My sentiments exactly…

  • Bee

    I really enjoyed this read! It made me make of a list of all things I need to work on to become a better “developing” woman. Thanks, MN!

  • Keisha Samoht

    Well put the list is wonderful! And although Cynthia has been working my nerves this season… that quote is very true.