Change Clothes: Can You Go From “Friends With Benefits” to “Wifey”?

September 30th, 2012 - By Brooke Dean

AP-P

Sometimes you never really see it coming – the “Friends with Benefits” situation. After all, he’s cool, a lot of fun to hang out with and there’s an attraction there that could go either way, depending on what day of the week it is. You think he’s cute, he’s not seeing anyone and neither are you and then BAM! – after maybe one too many, you have sex.  And the sex is good. Really good. So you decide to do it again, and again…and maybe one more time. Next thing you know, you’re friends with benefits (FWB)…and everything is groovy.

Until…one of you catches feelings. Most of us know someone who has found herself in this situation wondering how she got there – and how she can either get out of it, or how she can take it to the next level. If she’s fallen for the guy, yet he’s stated over and over again that they’re “just kickin’ it” or that he’s not ready for a relationship, chances are you will never go from the FWB situation to full girlfriend status. But it IS possible. Sure, this may happen in RARE cases, especially if he has intimacy issues or commitment phobia – in which case I advise you to let it go and heal your broken heart. But if you feel that the chemistry between you suggests that there might be a chance at real love, here are some things you can do to test the waters to see if you can go from FWB to wifey.

Tags:

, , , , , , , , , ,
More from StyleBlazer
More from MommyNoire

Comment Disclaimer

Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN

  • Kayo Halana Malie

    Who wants to settle for being a ‘wifey’ when one could be an actual wife?

  • Pingback: How to Go From Friends with Benefits to Wifey « Veronica's Place

  • L-Boogie

    Stay single. EFF being a jump off.

  • IllyPhilly

    Wifey is just another term for the girlfriend you sport in public.

  • DeepThinker

    How it starts is usually how it ends.

  • http://www.facebook.com/kay.moore.7965 Kay Moore

    LOL @a199a900c7bddf0f0923742736af3a31:disqus , you are a fine,fabulous, physically fit booty call. Get over yourself. You are not a wifey. LOL, keep dreaming! Cute girls come a dime a dozen, and this it factor you claim that men like, it is the factor that you are not setting any type of expectation, so they love to keep you around. You sound silly!

    • JaneDoe

      She is delusional

      • Blackberry Molasses

        Not with 50 haters and counting! Do the math (if you can), JaneSlow. It’s because so many black females in (and typically FROM) the US are so ‘basic’ that I use this site to express my poignant opinions on the same issues I, with eyeballs ever a-rolling, usually fail in trying to articulate to you folks when I’m subjugated to your Simplisms while I’m in a place of business (hair salon) just mindin my own. I know better than to intelligently adjust your trousers directly. The losers (like you) in a Battle of Wits often resort to physical assault, and I don’t wanna hafta take off my Intelligent Attire and change into BeatDat@$$ Gear, so this is great! I speak; y’all reply. We’re getting somewhere. Thanks Madame Noire. All’s I did was articulately propose to these hapless dames that their methods of securing a committed relationship are why they cain’t land one to save their lives. Figures over 50 Females would just lash out on me for proclaiming my self-confidence as my biggest asset. They’re just 50 outta 5 million who ain’t got none!

    • Blackberry Molasses

      I would like to thank you and your 30 other “Uglies” for letting me know that I’m on to something Big. I never said I proffer my 9u$$y to these fellas, stupido. That’s how the 31 of y’all get down. I got it goin on, KNOW I got it goin on, and act accordingly—which flows like water down a stream for how I’m treated; Like Gold. I simply shared some past experiences where a “friendship with benefits” resulted in the MAN clamoring and clinging onto my coattails wanting “more”. I’m too fly to be used. Speak for yourself. I was simply extending the courtesy of trying to Hip you idiots to some of the Game (which, at 30 Haters and counting, I clearly got an advantage over all-a y’all with!!!!) which you not only can’t play; but also muck up so badly that 1 outta 2 guys mistake Me for one of You. Too many of You (reading at this very moment) lack these elements, which is why they’ll continue to be nothing more than a booty call of convenience….til [He] gets bored with [your] basic butt and leaves you `be. Too many others are expending their time in Energy hatin on those [of Us] with the “It” factor[s] that produce indisputable results. If you’ll excuse me, it’s time to go sort through all these phone numbers from fellas who assume my bare 4th left finger and a smile on my face mean I’m that ‘friendly’. Later, Haters! ;)

    • Blackberry Molasses

      @ Kay Moore: you’re right. I’m not a “wifey”, “boo-boo”, “Bottom B*#9#”, or any of these other minstrel nicknames for being a guys ho/e. I have sold the 2 ENGAGEMENT rings I’ve acquired in my 20s from the last decade. Maybe your Toyfriend may buy 1 of em from the pawn shop to buy himself some more time with your settlin @$$. I am unmarried by CHOICE. My career entails a possible move out-of-country; and I wish to keep my options to open BEYOND slavery-by-product like your cousin, brother, uncle, and next-door neighbor ‘who just need a good womin to be there for him’. There are men OUT THERE who already GOT their intellectual, professional, and personal priorities in order. They don’t resort to high school stuff like taking on a female, exhausting her time and energy just to have her holding her breath for an 8th-grader’s “wifey” title. You’ll see me soon enough, and I’ll be happy to share how haters like you on an anonymous website further motivated to continue PRIORITIZING what’s best for me. I happen to KNOW I’m waaaaaaay more than a ‘trifey’, so if that’s your claim to fame; take a picture. It’ll last longer than your ‘refakeonship’ (with a fella who’d drop you for me as soon as he sees me; let alone hears the melodious verbiage emitting from my plump and shapely lips).

  • get real

    If they are cheating with each other then of course not.

  • Yokessm

    Nice article, but I’m very anal about establishing my role early on, I could not be a friend with benefit…

  • Blackberry Molasses

    Absolutely. “They” all fell for fine, fabulous, physically fit me! ;) A lot of females sell themselves short by stating a desire to do that though, which is why so few do. It takes a certain finesse which requires self-confidence, self-respect, and self-prioritizing. Too many (reading at this very moment) lack these elements, which is why they’ll continue to be nothing more than a booty call of convenience….til [He] gets bored with [your] basic butt and leaves you `be. Too many others are expending their time in Energy hatin on those [of Us] with the “It” factor[s] that produce indisputable results. Good luck, Ladies.

    • Raven_Bell

      What?

      • Blackberry Molasses

        Read it more slowly. Perhaps with an online dictionary and thesaurus to assist you, Raven_Basic. It should help. I further break it down in the more-recent comments to some of your fellow Haters above. Have a blessed day.