By: Makeba Riddick
When a woman falls in love she feels as if there is no physical or emotional limit to the love she’s willing to give. It’s almost like the world around her stops. It makes her happy and free and she’d do anything to keep the feeling going. Why put a limit on a feeling so amazing? It can be very challenging but there always has to be a limit on love. There are rules and regulations to everything in life! Limitations are the equivalent of boundaries. Everyone needs and should set boundaries. These boundaries are necessary so that the people we encounter daily know how to treat us. When there are limitations and boundaries in your love life there is a certain order that is upheld. Boundaries are the key to respect. When you have limitations people know not to cross certain lines pertaining to your heart and because of this you get and maintain their respect.
Love is a primary aspect of life that definitely requires a limit. It sounds harsh and maybe even quite unromantic but we are living in a real world with real issues and real people who sometimes unintentionally hurt others. To avoid this, limitations are set so that things can run smoothly. Look at it like this, limits and boundaries are like the safety belts of love. They protect us from unnecessary heartaches. We wear safety belts to avoid cuts and bruises and scrapes caused by fender benders and car accidents, right? Well limits in a relationship can protect us from the bumps and bruises that inevitably come during dating and getting to know someone that we have a love interest in.
The man you’re dating should know that you have limits. He should know you have a limit on how far you’ll go on the first date, how much time you’re willing to give him and a limit on how close you’ll allow him to get to your heart if he’s not giving all of his genuine self to you. In essence, loving Y-O-U without a limit is key. This is not selfish it’s self – love.
There has been plenty of debate on why women are hardwired to love everyone and everything else around her much more than herself. This, my friends is just not fair to your own heart. We put limits on how many hours we’re willing to work on a job, limits on how many hours we’re willing to sit in church on a Sunday. We put limits on how much money we’ll spend on a birthday gift for someone, but when it comes to some of our relationships, we let the men we desire inflict limitless pain on us. Shouldn’t there be a limit on the disrespect, heartache and disappointment one person has to endure? Sure there is. And if you’ve crossed over to the side of feeling like there is no limit to the chances you give someone after they’ve hurt you numerous times, then there’s some self evaluation that surely needs to take place on your part. Love is not a one sided emotion. It’s an emotion that needs to be genuinely nurtured by both parties equally to function in a healthy way. The minute you start accepting any type of treatment that does not lift you up, empower you, inspire you and enlighten you, I’d suggest slamming the brakes and considering whether or not you need to set limits to protect your well being. We need to love ourselves freely and completely and live with expectation that we will receive that kind of love in return. Anything less is a no go…
Here are 10 signs a man will give that should scream, “Put a limit on your love!”
10. He disappears for days after you’ve spent the night together.
9. Sometimes when you call, he doesn’t answer the phone but responds to you with a text.
8. Even after you’ve been dating for months he still tells you he wants to stay “friends” with you until he’s ready to commit.
7. Birthdays and Holidays he’s a no-show or if he does come around his time with you is limited.
6. He confesses to you that he has multiple female “friends” because he’s not ready to be committed to one woman.
5. His friends call you other female’s names by mistake.
4. He’s not in a rush to introduce you to his family and his inner circle of friends.
3. He encourages you to still see other people because he’s not sure where the relationship is going at this time.
2. You’ve been dating him for over a year and his Facebook status still says “single.”
1. He goes through phases of being totally into you then to luke warm…still no commitment…
Makeba Riddick is a Grammy award-winning hit songwriter, behind many of Beyoncé, Rihanna, Mariah Carey and Jennifer Lopez’ biggest hits. She’s also the co-author of “The Mean Girls Handbook of Etiquette,” a self-help book that equips women with the best practices for navigating the landscape of love and relationships, slated to hit shelves in 2012. Weekly, Riddick shares personal insights from her successful marriage and contents of the book to empower women, one entry at a time. Follow Makeba on Twitter: @MakebaTheBarbie