Ways You Might Be Compromising Your Safety On Dates
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If you’ve ever seen a late night news segment on a woman who was attacked, kidnapped or assaulted on a date, then you know these things don’t just happen to naïve, unaware women. Many of the victims are highly intelligent, sharp and savvy women. So if your excuse for taking risks when dating is that you’re smart, then that excuse doesn’t hold much water. You may be intelligent, but you aren’t schooled in the art of disarming women, and the dangerous men on dating sites are. We can be so trusting of people, just because they have an attractive profile on Tinder. If a man looks normal, with an active social life and busy career online, he must be normal, right? Well, some of the most dangerous killers in history didn’t just look normal but they were even pillars of their society, like politicians and teachers. You can never be too safe when it comes to first dates. Here are ways you may be putting your safety at risk when you’re dating.
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Failing to Yelp the bar
Always look up the venue of your date before going. You never know what you may find. Sometimes, you’ll learn it’s a really cute date spot. But sometimes you may find reviews stating that the place doesn’t feel safe for women, that it’s dark and seedy, or that it’s in a bad part of town. Predators know which bars don’t look after the safety of their patrons.
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Drinking too much
You’ve probably heard it before, but don’t drink too much on a date. After two cocktails, your senses become weaker. You may not be as aware of your surroundings like if someone puts something in your drink, takes something out of your wallet or follows you.
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Going somewhere where you don’t know anyone
Ideally, you should pick the date spot. Pick a place where you regularly run into friends, or at least where the staff knows you. It’s best to go somewhere where people are familiar with you, and can recognize when you look uncomfortable or need help. If you can introduce your date to people there, that tells him that if he tries anything weird, there will be witnesses.
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Staying quiet to be polite
If a man is making you uncomfortable with the things he is saying, or through unwanted advances, tell him so. Don’t remain quiet to be polite. And don’t think that you’re just being sensitive—there is no right or wrong when it comes to feeling uncomfortable. Plus, speaking up early can show his true colors. If he is an aggressor, speaking up early will agitate him. That should be a sign to leave.
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Sitting at the edge of the bar
Sit in the middle of the bar, so you’re surrounded by other patrons. This way, they can overhear your conversation and notice if you’re uncomfortable. Bartenders also tend to hang out in the middle of the bar, so you can give them a signal if you need help.
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Taking an Uber with him
Just because somebody besides your date is driving doesn’t mean you’re safe. If the Uber is through your date’s account, he always has the option to change the destination at any given moment.
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Leaving at the same time
Don’t leave the venue at the same time as your date. Doing so gives him an opportunity to follow you home. If he wants to give you a hug outside, that’s fine, but hang back a moment. Go back inside. Use the restroom. Make sure your date is long gone before you walk to your car and drive home.
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Staying until the bar closes
Don’t stay out late with someone you’ve just met. In other words, even if you’re having a great time, don’t stay at the bar until it’s closing. The later it is, the fewer people there are around to see if something bad happens. You also shouldn’t stay so late that you become sleepy because then your awareness for your surroundings will be weaker.
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Letting him get the drinks
Let the server bring the drinks to the table. Even if you have to wait a little longer for table service, wait. You don’t want to set up a dynamic in which your date is going to the bar and getting your drinks. That gives him the opportunity to put something in your drink on the walk back from the bar.
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Arriving after him
Get to your date 20 minutes early so you can get to know the venue and the staff. Let your server or bartender know you’re meeting someone you met online, so they know to keep an eye on you. Familiarize yourself with the layout of the place, including the exits.
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Using preexisting photos
Don’t use photos from your social media profiles on your dating profiles. These photos have a Google trail. All someone has to do is drag that photo into the Google Image search bar and they’ll find plenty of information about you. Take brand new photos for your dating profiles.
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Talking about your neighborhood
Don’t tell your date where you live. I don’t only mean your address, but also your neighborhood. If someone knows the neighborhood you live in, they can easily find you. Especially when you tell them the things you like to do like Pilates and going to coffee shops.
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Going on hiking dates
Really most outdoorsy dates should be avoided until you know the person. At least at a venue, there will be staff, so there are always witnesses. But you don’t know how quiet the trail might be on your hike or how abandoned the beach might be on your walk.
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Leaving your food unattended
People often only think about drinks being drugged but food can be drugged, too, especially mashed or pureed food. Don’t walk away from the table until you’re done eating. If you absolutely have to, then don’t finish that food when you get back.
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Not Googling your date
You might want the element of surprise, but you should forego that for your safety. Don’t you want to know if anything noticeably bad comes up about your date? Like criminal charges? Or scandals? Or sexual assault accusations?
