How People Treat You When Your Husband Has Money - Page 16

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If you’re married to somebody wealthy, then you certainly can say that money won’t be an issue. There won’t be any issue with covering basic living expenses and while money cannot buy you happiness, it can drive away some stress. But that doesn’t mean your life is entirely without problems. It can, however, mean that your friends treat you as if your life is a walk in the park. Your friends and family can treat you a little differently if you wind up with someone wealthy, or if your partner suddenly comes into a lot of money. It can be very frustrating, because you’re still the same old you, and your partner’s financial status shouldn’t change the way people treat you, but it can. Here is how people treat you when your husband has money.

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They say you wouldn’t understand money issues

When your friends start to vent to one another about money issues and you chime in, they laugh and say, “What do you know about this? Your husband is rich!” Just because you no longer have to worry about paying rent doesn’t mean you don’t remember what that’s like. And even if you’ve never worried about paying rent, that doesn’t mean you can’t feel empathy for your friends.

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Nobody offers to get the Uber

When pre-gaming is over at your friend’s place and everyone is ready to hop in an Uber and head to the bars, nobody takes out their phone. Everyone is clearly looking over at you, assuming you’ll pay for all of the rides because it won’t put as much of a dent in your bank account. When did you become your friends’ wallet?

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They assume that’s why you’re with him

Your friends sometimes joke around and say things like, “Hopefully your husband’s deal goes through or you’ll leave him!” It’s extremely offensive. They may say this in a humorous tone, but you know they partially believe it. Even if it is 100 percent a joke, do they not realize how uncomfortable the joke makes you? It’s not like you can laugh at it.

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They’re suspicious that he’d cheat

Your friends are all especially worried that your partner would cheat on you. Any of their partners could be unfaithful, but they seem to think that with money comes infidelity. They drop not-so-subtle hints that you should be careful because women love chasing wealthy men.

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They wonder why you still work

If you complain about the stress that comes with your job or the struggles you face in your career goals, your friends say, “Well, it’s not like you have to work. Your husband is rich.” Right: because the only reason a woman would work is if she didn’t have a man to support her. Does it not occur to your friends that your career means more than financial stability to you? That perhaps you’re, gee, passionate about it?

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They’re offended if you offer to pay

If you offer to pay, sometimes your friends get offended and say, “Do you think I can’t pay for myself?” You were just trying to do something nice. And you’re not doing it just because your husband is wealthy: even when you didn’t have money, sometimes you’d throw down your card for the lunch check.

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And offended if you don’t offer to pay

On the flip side, if you are so bold as to suggest people split the bill evenly or based on the items they all ordered (gasp!) you see your friends giving you looks. They’re thinking, “Your husband is rich. Are you really going to nickel and dime us over who partook in the margarita pitcher and who didn’t?” You’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t.

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They can expect financial help

It’s amazing how, suddenly, it seems like every friend is having financial difficulties. Or, are they just now talking about those whenever you’re around, hoping you’ll offer to help them out? You’ve even sensed some friends become angry with you because you didn’t offer to help them out. But your policy is that if someone needs help, they should ask for it.

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They tell you to, “Ask your husband for it”

When you mention something pricey you’d like to have, your friends say you should ask your husband for it. But you don’t treat him like a bottomless wallet. There are some expensive things you’d like to have, but that you still view as irresponsible purchases. Sure, your husband could buy you a sports car, but that doesn’t mean you’d ask him to.

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They don’t listen to your problems

Your friends seem to tune out when you talk about your problems. You’ve noticed they’ve especially started to do this since you married somebody wealthy. It seems like they don’t think you experience negative emotions anymore since you have access to money.

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They talk about how wealthy you are, in front of you

When your friends introduce you to new friends, sometimes they’ll talk about how wealthy you are, right in front of you. If one person compliments you on your purse, your friend might say something like, “Oh, she always has the greatest accessories—her husband is rich.”

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They “pitch” you all the time

It seems like ever since you married someone wealthy, everybody and their brother has a business idea that needs funding. When you go to brunch with your friends you wonder if you’re at brunch or a pitch meeting for everyone’s new Etsy business idea or app idea. You know your friends are hoping you’ll chime in and say, “My husband and I would love to help you get that started.”

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They imply you’re “Too good” for some places/things

Your friends sometimes say you wouldn’t like the restaurant they’re going to or they’re bar they’re going to because you’re, “Used to better things now.” Do they really think you’d be so superficial that you wouldn’t hang out with your friends, just because of the bar they’ve chosen?

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They joke that your money could fix their marriages

Sometimes when your friends complain about their marital issues, they say things like, “If we only had your money, we’d never have to fight again.” That’s simply not true. You and your husband still get into arguments and you wish your friends would realize that.