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happiness anchors

It started with a trip to Toronto for Drake’s 2013 OVO Fest and I never looked back. It was my first trip out of the country and I got my luggage thrown off a Megabus and clowned by a Canadian customs agent who joked, “You know we have a lot more to offer here than Drake.” All this just to witness Big Sean, TLC, Diddy and Mase all perform on one stage. Drunk off a few shots of Appleton, belting out “No New Friends” off key with my bestie from undergrad (despite linking up with some fellow Drake fans I had only chatted with on a message board until that moment) was pretty damn epic. I’ll never forget how the Toronto rapper skipped around on stage geeking while fist bumping and hugging celebs who were the soundtrack to my whole adolescence and probably his too.

To this day it remains my favorite experience traveling. Only a year before I found myself tweeting, “This just wasn’t my summer,” after I had failed to land tickets for that year’s festival or a passport to get there. The issue is I hadn’t taken myself seriously. I had done a whole lot of talking about getting a passport and going to OVO Fest that winter and that is where the conversation ended. In the summer of 2012 I found myself sitting in a room surrounded by boxes of shoes, half packs of Velvet Remi weaving hair and unopened lip glosses. Every two weeks I blew a portion of my check to be “fly as hell in Philly” as I now refer to it and still wanting more. That first trip to Toronto incited a case of wanderlust I haven’t been able to shake since. And more than sneakers and skinny jeans I found myself wanting to invest my time money, and energy into experiences more than things and I feel like I’m a much more fulfilled person for it. Science says “happiness anchors” may be the reason.

I once read a quote (I can’t remember where) that said something like the high you get from experiences lasts longer than that from buying “stuff” and when I discovered that was true for myself, I decided to apply that same philosophy to my parenting. I figured that my daughter would remember feeding giraffes or the smell of sand and salt water taffy and a whole lot longer than another talking Elmo or a pair of baby Jordans. And according to recent research, it’s because family trips have a profound and lasting impact on kids’ overall happiness and well-being.

A study published in The Journal of Commercial Research says skipping Toys R’ Us and heading straight to your travel agent may increase your child’s brain growth as well. Traveling forces people out of their comfort zones and tests your ability to problem solve, think critically and manage stress. I can attest to the fact that I could probably do my daily commute with my eyes closed walking backwards. Navigating my way through a new city even with the assistance of Google Maps gives me a sense of accomplishment and confidence. Learning about different people and places gives me a sense of my place in the world and my impact on it, so it’s important for me to teach my daughter that there’s a whole lot more to life than her family and friends and the twenty minutes to and from her grandparents’ houses. Through travel I hope my daughter and family as a whole are both humbled and enlightened. But don’t get it twisted, experiences don’t mean you have to blow your budget to Milan or Marrakesh in order to broaden your family’s horizons. The study says travel can mean a car ride to small town a few counties away or simply a change in environment for the day.

Similar studies have shown that the effects of travel and new experiences may last well beyond summer vacay and into to school year as  kids who travel on vacation come back to school and score higher grades in reading, math and general knowledge than their peers who don’t travel. Research also shows that children carry these experiences (dubbed “happiness anchors”) well into adulthood with family vacations being reported as most people’s favorite memory which scientists say can directly affect the fabric of a person and the way they view the world.

Since the day she’s been born, my mission has been to give my daughter a health collection of “happiness anchors” of her own and whether we’re at the aquarium or art museum it’s important for me to teach her to be comfortable regardless of her surroundings and for her view on life and other people to be shaped more from her experiences than material things. Because toys will be broken and clothes will be outgrown, but memories are something that require very little maintenance and have so much more meaning.

Toya Sharee is a Health Resource Specialist who has a  passion for helping young women build their self-esteem and make well-informed choices about their sexual health. She also advocates for women’s reproductive rights and blogs about  everything from beauty to love and relationships. Follow her on Twitter @TheTrueTSharee or visit her blog, Bullets and Blessings.

 

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