Our Apathy: Amber Cole and the Disvaluation of Black Girls

October 19, 2011  |  

Feminists, Where are You? Is She Not Your ‘Sister,’ Too?

If the National Organization of Women has released a statement on this, please let me know, because as of this post, there’s nothing. I can’t help but wonder out loud how much energy and effort would be directed to this disaster if the girl had been blonde and blue-eyed. I have been critical of certain aspects of feminism in my writings, and this is a prime example of why I don’t stand with you. You ignore a girl who could literally be my daughter when she has been violated in the most vile way.

The Gender Double Standard

While Amber Cole’s life will forever be affected by her decision and this video, the boys will be able to lead a relatively normal life. After all their names are not trending on Twitter. A Facebook friend of mine had this to say about the young men who were involved in the incident and the double standards of our society that celebrate this deplorable behavior:

“Yes, these boys obviously lacked guidance and direction. And in that way, they too are ‘victims’ of the dysfunction we all recognize as the cause of this mess. But the difference is, THEY will not pay the ultimate price for this ‘dysfunction’. That girl will. And since black folks, choose to CLING like a life raft to sexual double standards, female hating religious dogma, hypermasculine ideals of manhood, and the overall denigration for all things feminine, it is not ‘society’ that is to blame, but US. We refuse to accept equality in our relationships and parity in our ‘roles.’ We promote biblical ideals that are based on the submission and sexual restriction of women, all while glorifying male dominance and aggression.”

I think about the mistakes and missteps I made in my teen-aged and young adult years, and by God’s grace, You Tube and Twitter had not yet been invented. Are you still laughing? For all those who will dismiss this event and blame only the girl, I hope a new circle in Hell will be invented, just for you.

Christelyn D. Karazin is the co-author of “Swirling: How to Date, Mate and Relate Mixing Race, Culture and Creed” (to be released April 2012), and runs a blog, www.beyondblackwhite.com, dedicated to women of color who are interested and or involved in interracial and intercultural relationships. She is also the founder and organizer of “No Wedding, No Womb,” an initiative to find solutions to the 72 percent out-of-wedlock rate in the black community.

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