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Ask Men If They're Married - Gayle King

When just getting to know a young (or old) man, most of us have a standard list of questions we ask: How old are you? What do you do? Where do you live? Do you have kids? What are you looking for? Are you married? OK, when it comes to that last one, the necessity of asking such a question seems to be up for debate. For a lot of women, the fact that a man is on a date with them (and doesn’t have on a ring) means he’s single — duh! For the rest of us who’ve seen, or at least heard, it all when it comes to men, we know if you don’t ask, a married man most likely isn’t going to tell. And even asking is no guarantee you’ll receive the truth, but that’s a whole other topic.

After a series of unfortunate dating events, I began adding that married question into my intro to dating repertoire unapologetically last year, along with beefing up my intuition so I can sense when a man’s “no” really means “yes.” I guess I should be grateful for the experiences that taught me this explicit question is a prerequisite to getting involved with someone while I’m young because Gayle King revealed she just realized she has to ask a man if he’s married outright. And because experience is life’s greatest teacher, it, of course, took an unpleasant dinner date to reveal the importance of said question, which she revealed on “Harry” today.

Gayle told Harry Connick Jr., “I went on a date recently, I’ve been out with somebody maybe 3 or 4 times and now I feel I have another dating question to add to my repertoire, in addition to, ‘do you think OJ Simpson is guilty?’  which is one of my dating questions.”

Harry asked Gayle if the answer to that question is a deal breaker, and Gayle responded:

“Oh, depending on how you answer that, I do judge. I definitely do, I followed that case from beginning to end but it never occurred to me if somebody asked you out and you’ve been on a couple of dates, they are not wearing a wedding ring. It never occurs to me to say, ‘Are you married?’ It really didn’t. So I’m out to dinner and he’s talking and then he said something about my wife and I said, ‘Wait, wait, wait, your wife? You have a wife?’ He goes, ‘Yeah.’ I said, ‘Does she know you’re here?’ He said, ‘But, we’re separated.’ I said, ‘Oh you’re getting a divorce.’ He said, ‘No, we’re separated we live in the same house it hasn’t been good for a really long time.’ And I was like check please, I know that story. “

Those of us who automatically ask men, “are you married?” know that story too. I’m honestly surprised Gayle hasn’t come across one of these single-but-not-really characters before now.

When you go on dates do you automatically ask men if they’re married?

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