Mistakes That Turn A Break Into A Breakup - Page 9

We’ll skip the part where I list the many reasons that breaks often don’t work—the mere fact that the relationship was going so poorly that you needed to take a hiatus is usually evidence that it’s not meant to be—but I’ll assume in your case, things are different.

Maybe a break will work for you. But it certainly won’t if you make some of the quintessential mistakes people often make during breaks. You and your partner can try to set rules, but the truth is that you’re so fragile and emotional when you set them, that you won’t really know what you’re talking about. You’ll find the rules difficult to follow. Or, perhaps, you think they should have been stricter, and now it’s too late to change them. See how complicated this can be? Here are the mistakes that ensure your break will turn into a breakup.

Increasing your social media presence

Writing on social media about your new singledom. Wait…wasn’t this a break? Even publicizing the break opens you up to plenty of male attention.

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Talking to your friends about it too much

This will leave your partner feeling intimidated and uncomfortable—he knows your friends are judging him. He may not want to deal with that.

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Talking to your family about it too much

If you didn’t think your guy would be scared to face your friends again, you have to know he’d be scared to face your family. Especially if you’ve been spilling everything to them.

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Sleeping with other people

Even if you set up a “don’t ask/don’t tell” rule regarding sleeping with other people, you’re going to end up telling each other. And if you did sleep with other people, it will only cause fights.

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Sleeping with each other

Somebody’s going to take it the wrong way. Somebody is going to think that means the break is over. And that somebody is going to feel used and angry when they realize the break is still on.

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Having unprotected sex

Try explaining to your partner that, during the break, you picked up a little…um…guest in your body that you now need antibiotics for. And so will he if he has sex with you.

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Dating other people

This is like the sex rule: maybe you’ve decided not to discuss your other dates. Hey, maybe you even said going on dates was okay! But, deep down, it’s not okay and will cause fights.

Going on the dating apps

If you’re both on there, and you find each other on there, and you analyze one another’s profiles, you’re asking for war.

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Deleting their contact info

He’s going to find out. Like when he calls, and you ask, “Who is this?” And then he’ll be very offended that you went so far as to delete his contact information.

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Partying a lot

Try not to make it look like you are celebrating this break. It’s supposed to be a time of quiet reflection.

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Taking down your photos

Don’t touch your social media until you know the outcome of the break. If you take down every photo, you have with your guy on Facebook, that will seem like you want a breakup.

Lying about dating/sleeping with other people

If you do sleep with or date other people, be honest about it. The only thing worse than doing it is lying about it.

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Giving your opinion on their dates

Don’t tell your guy what you think about the girl you saw him on a date with. He’ll feel like you aren’t respecting his time to explore and think. And it will make you look mean.

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Telling their dates, you’re on a break

And do not seek out the women your guy is dating to let them know, “Just so you know, we’re only on a break—we’re getting back together, so you’re wasting your time.”