Not Under My Roof: So You Caught Your Teen Having Sex, Now What?

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After the embarrassment fades, you’re at the crossroads. Do you clasp your hands around your teen’s throat and a chastity belt around their waist or do you sit down “Clair Huxtable” style and have a conversation about respect and values?  Well you may be able to do a combination of both, but it’s important to not immediately react to the situation.  If you’re the type of parent who refuses to have that kind of behavior under your roof then you’ll probably want to get yourself together after you show the one you didn’t give birth to out the door.  The last thing you want to do is say anything you don’t mean out of anger.

Right now it may seem like the world is caving in on itself and you’ll want to blame yourself for working and not being strict enough, but you do know that’s crazy talk, right? You might be angry at yourself, feel disrespected and have a hard time digesting that you have a sexually active being on your hands.  The truth is that sex is a natural part of life, and although you may not agree with when, how or where it’s happening, you have to admit that you knew this day was coming.

A big part of being sexually active is responsibility.  That includes finding a place to engage in sex that isn’t disrespectful to anyone.  Unfortunately, for young people with little access to money or their own space, this place usually ends up being school or the home they share with their parents.  I could never get comfortable with the idea of children being sexually active in the home they share with their parents; it definitely wasn’t allowed in my home, and in fact my sister and I weren’t allowed to have locks on our doors or boys upstairs.  But there are some parents who actually prefer for their children to have sex under their roof.  In a story featured by Good Morning America titled “Safer Sex?  Some Parents Allow Their Teens to Have Sex Inside Family Home” several parents shared that they allow their teens to have sex inside the home because at least they could keep an eye on them there.  Patty Skudlarek, parent to an 18-year old son states, “I’d rather he…do it here than somewhere else.  With the kids having sex at home, it’s a safer environment, because, you know, it’s clean…and usually the place they keep the condoms are in their bedroom.”  Clinics are clean and they keep condoms there as well, does that mean we should encourage people to get their freak on there too?  Surprisingly the article sheds some light on the fact that many teens who are allowed to be sexually active in the home, aren’t exactly comfortable enough to do so.

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