Will Spanking Your Daughter Sexually Confuse Her In The Future?

March 24, 2016  |  

spanking your daughter

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As we evolve, there are certain things our parents did in raising us, that we realize might not be the best modus operandi in raising our own children. You already know, I’m talking about spanking. The debate around the subject has been going strong for years. In the Black community there’s a long history of spanking or even beating our children. Some tie it back to the Bible’s “Spare the rod, spoil the child” philosophy. Some believe that if we don’t beat our children, he or she will be beaten and maybe even killed by the White man. While others believe our tendency to spank and even beat our children is directly linked to the treatment we received when we were enslaved, throughout the diaspora. The traditions have merely been passed down from generation to generation.

In recent years though, people, even those in the Black community have spoken out against corporal punishment for children.

Recently rapper Talib Kweli spoke out about his abhorrence of disciplining children in this way.

He went on to talk about the topic for days, calling spanking lazy, representing a loss of patience with their children, un-nurturing etc. At one point, he called it domestic violence. For people to hit a defenseless child, is to him, akin to a partner hitting another in a romantic relationship. Essentially, his philosophy is if you love your children, violence should never be a part of the way you raise or discipline them. This discussion went on for a while, with plenty of back and forth from followers, most of whom were spanking advocates.

And while people might not have expected to hear this viewpoint from Kweli, it’s not too far from anything we’ve heard from others who are anti-spanking.

But today, writer and correspondent Stacey Patton, who is working on a book called “Spare The Kids: Why Whooping Children Won’t Save Black America,” shared her thoughts on spanking and why it’s particularly dangerous to spank girl children. In addition to the emotional and psychological damage people have claimed it causes, Patton suggests that it also presents a psychosexual threat.

Here’s what she posted on her Facebook page.

It’s an interesting concept to say the least. As someone who was spanked as a child, only by my mother, I can’t say that I ever felt sexually stimulated in the process; but I do agree that the behind is so close to the clitoris and vagina that it can work as a sexual stimulant. Some would argue that those organs only come into play once puberty sets in; but how can we really be sure? If children start exploring their genitals for pleasure, as early as toddlerhood, who’s to say what they’re feeling. Most of us aren’t asking our children what sensations they experience as they’re being spanked. And even if we were, many children might not have the language to accurately express that.

I don’t have children; and while I would like to think that I won’t hit my future kids, I can’t say what type of challenges parenting may present. And while I’ve always felt like hitting children who are virtually defenseless is hypocritical, especially when you teach your children not to be violent; there’s also something about this theory that makes a lot of sense to me. And serves as yet another, very logical case against hitting children, especially as many of us were hit.

What do you think about Patton’s post? Does the theory make sense to you? Does it change or reaffirm your thoughts about corporeal punishment for children?

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