This Saturday (Feb. 20) it was all about the ladies on It’s Not You, It’s Men, Tyrese and Rev Run’s new love, sex, and relationship show on OWN TV.
Actress/comedian Yvette Nicole Brown and model/actress Amber Rose were the guests of the night, keeping it real about about a woman’s perspective on various topics.
Most interesting, Rose, who has received lots of backlash for her past and confidence when it comes to sexuality, spoke at lengths about “no meaning no” and feeling comfortable in her skin.
Rev Run brought up the notion of dressing how you want to be addressed, and she was not here for it at all replying, “Oh, boo! That’s not realistic. Stop it,” as the crowd clapped in agreeance with Run.
“If I want to wear a short skirt or tank top and I’m at the club having fun with my friends and I feel sexy, I’m not DTF (down to f**k),” she added. ” I’m not even looking at you. I don’t even want to have sex with you. I didn’t come here to have sex. I didn’t come here to hook up with nobody. I came out here with my girls and I feel pretty. I’m not asking for nothing.”
Clearly, both Tyrese and Rev Run didn’t agree with Rose’s sentiments of dressing however you want without having a stigma attached to your forehead. Basically, many people equate a woman dressing proactively to being loose.
As a 24-year-old woman I understand Rose’s argument, but I also understand Run’s notion, too. I think the sexiest thing a woman can have is confidence, and that truly is what Amber has. Because her body shape is voluptuous and the clothes she wears may be a bit snug, I don’t believe people should judge her as a slut or anything along those lines. However, it’s true that the way you dress also says something about you to the world. You are essentially expressing yourself through clothing, but clothes also don’t define a person.
Amber also shared that she is sexual assaulted almost on a daily basis, whether it’s men asking to grab her a** or women fawning over her boobs and asking to touch them. Simply, just because the way someone looks is not an invitation for judgement or disrespect in Amber’s case.
At the end of the day, this notion of dressing how you want to be addressed definitely has a misogynistic tone to it, but I also see where it can be true. Giving someone their space and dignity should always be first in every situation, including this one that many other women have been faced with before.
“I’m not mad at y’all because that’s how society raised all of us,” Rose said to Tyrese and Run. “I’m a former slut shamer. I’ve called hoes a million times, you know what I’m saying? And now I’m not; I’m a former slut shamer.”
What are your thoughts? Do you agree with Amber or Run?