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The way it typically is isn’t the way it always has to be. In our own personal experiences, on television and in popular culture “baby mommas” and “baby daddies” don’t get along. They fight to figure out how to handle child custody. They’re never really “over” each other so they can’t be happy when their ex finds him or herself in a new relationship. It’s an all around mess.

But y’all there’s no relationship handbook and certainly not one that says you have to hate, loathe or despise the person who helped bring your child into this world. Still, when we see images that suggest something different like Jada taking a picture with Will Smith’s first wife Sheree or Russell Simmons being godfather to Kimora’s son Wolfe and business partner to her husband Tim, we find those images at best admirable but beyond our abilities or at worst, just strange.

That was the reaction last night when social media maven Supa Cent shared, via her Instagram page, what she did for not only Phil her baby daddy, but his girlfriend as well.

Take a look.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BB6YZUKKkqV/

This picture doesn’t show that there was also a private, three course meal prepared by a chef. She did it up.

It was extravagant, heartfelt and let’s be honest, potentially expensive.

And her “baby father” and his girlfriend were appreciative. The girlfriend had this to say about the gesture.

Sooooo, my bm @supa_cent is such a boss bish that she sent us on a date where we got a private couple’s massage (s/o to those ladies btw 😍 I know in my heart that Jesus sent them #massageonfleek😴😳😊), and a private, 3-course, candlelight, gourmet dinner catered by renowned @d.chef ! The food was AMAZING!!! Not only was it absolutely delicious but the presentation had me on the edge of my seat! Best dinning experience ever! BEST DATE EVER!!! Thanks again love! 😘😳😍 #imSUPAspoiled

While there were many who commended Supa, there were also an equal number of people who declared that it couldn’t be them.

While it is a bit unorthodox and I don’t know anything about having a baby daddy, I thought why not? If the father of my child was a good dad, being both attentive and available, if his new girlfriend loved my child and if we were on good terms after our breakup, why wouldn’t I want to show my appreciation?

There are so many people who still deserve to be appreciated, regardless of whether your relationship with him or her has ended.

The whole thing reminds me of a video I saw not too long ago from Soul Pancake. In it, parents thank stepparents for being there for their children in ways they can’t always be.

At one point in the video, the biological father says to the stepfather, “Aren’t you supposed to be someone I hate? Aren’t you supposed to be someone who challenges my own manhood? You’re a man of integrity, a man of skill, a beautiful husband. I admire you and I’m grateful for you. I know how powerful it is for a boy to see that his mother is loved because that’s how he’s going to treat his wife. And you’re doing that for him. You’re doing the things I couldn’t do. And I love you for that man. I’m supposed to not love you for that, but I do.”

You can watch the full thing below.

Play

I cry every single time I watch this video because it’s so mature, so beautiful and such a testament to the fact that love can overcome pride, insecurity, heartbreak and jealousy.

What do you think about getting your ex, the father of your child a birthday gift? Does your answer change whether or not either one of you are in a new relationship pf your own?

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