I love come as you are churches. To me, that’s the message of Jesus Christ. Accepting people as they are and then coming alongside to help and watch in the transforming their minds and hearts as they become increasingly more and more like him. One of the best analogies for church is that it’s like a hospital for sick souls. No one in there is perfect. We’re all trying to do and be better.
As my coworker said, “Sanctification is a process.” A lot of people think that when we accept Christ we’re made new immediately. And that’s just not the case. Some of us are going to struggle with habits and patterns of behavior for a while. Simply because life is a marathon, not a sprint. If we know everything and do everything right, what’s the point of being here if not to learn and grow?
All of this brings me to a discussion about DeVon Franklin and Meagan Good. I’m sure by now you’ve seen that the couple is touring the country, promoting their new book The Wait which is about their celibacy as they dated one another.
There’s no controversy in that, it’s a beautiful thing.
What is interesting though is that Megan Good is known as a sex kitten. And not just in her movies. When she appears as herself, on stage, on the red carpet, presenting gospel awards, she is known to have her skin out.
Naturally, now that Megan is married to a preacher and touring the country spreading God’s message about proper dating practices, people are wondering whether or not her words and her actions match up.
And at one panel discussion about their new book, one woman brought up this very subject to Meagan. Good didn’t even get a chance to answer though because her husband jumped in to save the day.
Woman: “You are beautiful. I’m going to say something to you. This is not offensive but I was at the grocery store and I looked at a newsstand and I saw you and you had your breasts showing. So I wasn’t going to come here. I wasn’t. But the Lord brought me here to see you. And you are a beautiful young woman and your testimony is awesome. Amen. And the Lord let me come and push past the judgement. And this is real, you have to make sure that what you say and what you do match up, you understand? So, we gon’ cover up right?
DeVon: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. No, no, no, no, no. Uh unh. Uh unh. No. That is not what we’re here for. She’s not going to cover up. She gon’ wear what she wants to wear in the name of Jesus. Amen? Amen. She’s going to wear what she wants to wear in the name of Jesus. Yes she will. Yes she will. Yes she will. Absolutely. God bless you. We love you. I love you dearly. She has been as Christian as she has been— that she is right now when she wore what she wanted to wear. Turns to Meagan. I love you.
Kisses Meagan repeatedly.
Meagan gets emotional and sheds some tears.
Meagan: I’d like to say one thing. I could address what she said and it’ll take me a while to address it because I have very specific feelings about that. But I just want to say to that young lady, however you feel, if that’s how you feel pray for me and I love you and God bless you. And thank you.
Here’s the full video below, which is certainly better than the transcription. But I know some of y’alls work computers move slowly.
This video and the response is so layered to me. It’s gray, not black and white.
What I do love about it is that DeVon stood up for his wife. In a world where it seems like every other Black man is ready to throw a Black woman under the bus, this image, his message and his fervor, is important to see. It’s powerful and necessary. And his reaction and her tears afterward seem to illustrate the love these two have for one another.
But as much as I appreciate him standing up for his wife, there was one particular part of his response, some are calling it a clapback, that rubbed me the wrong way. “She’s going to wear what she wants to wear in the name of Jesus.”
If you’ve read most of what I’ve written, I believe in a woman’s autonomy. I didn’t like the way Farrakhan told Jay Z to tell Beyoncé to cover up. I’ve defended Amber Rose’s twerk videos and her Slut Walk. I believe women, as human beings, should have the choice and option to wear what they want to wear. God gives us all free will. And if God gives it to us, it’s no one else’s right to seek to take it away. But there’s a difference between wearing what you want to wear for you and wearing something in Jesus’ name. I have a relationship with God and I’ve been in church all my life and I never knew we could have our titties out in Jesus’ name.
Honestly, I never had a problem with the way that Meagan Good dressed until she presented a gospel award with her entire chest out. When you profess to promote something or someone higher than you, you shouldn’t want to do or say anything that’s going to detract from that. And Meagan Good’s dress on that night at the BET awards was a distraction from God’s music and his message.
But here’s some more gray for y’all. I also don’t agree with that woman running up to the microphone to shame Meagan for her choices in attire either. She tried to pad her condemnation with compliments but at the end of the day her behavior wasn’t all that Christian-like either.
People love to talk about correcting folks in the church as their duty. And that may very well be so. But you should always seek to correct with love. And there’s very little love in standing in front of a room full of strangers asking a grown woman to cover up. As the saying goes, “punish in private, praise in public.” And since that woman has no personal relationship with Meagan it was not her place to attempt to school her in public.
One of my friends from college, Brittany Dixon, put it perfectly.
“After a rough past, the woman waited until marriage to have sex with her husband…
There are woman in the church with skirts down to their knees and turtle necks sleeping with all the deacons. I believe that if this couple is truly following God, the Holy Spirit will continue to do a work in both of their hearts.
That frees us from worrying about where other people are in their spiritual growth process. So Instead of worrying about what someone has on, consider what YOU put on every day.
The bible says “Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you.
Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.”
Colossians 3:12-15 NL”
It wasn’t that woman’s place to correct her in that manner. If she believed in Meagan’s testimony, then she would understand that God knows her, she knows God and the Holy Ghost likely speaks to her. She should trust that God will complete what he has begun in Meagan. And honestly, it may never look like what she thinks it should. Just because things don’t happen in the time, form or fashion we see fit doesn’t mean they can’t or won’t happen. God is on a different time frame than us. He’s eternal and we’re finite. If we know and trust Him like we say we do, then we should trust Him to speak to and grow Meagan Good into the woman He wants her to be.
What did you think of this whole interaction?