Funny Relationship Milestones Of Happy Couples - Page 15

“I love you,” “Want to meet my parents?” and “We should move in together” are just words. The real stuff happens in between those words. The real stuff is what leads up to those words and makes you realize, “I can actually find this person attractive after knowing all I know about him.”

The real milestones—the ones that show you you’re in it for the long haul—are a little more subtle and a lot weirder. They’re the ones that you don’t plan for, the ones that you’re at first ashamed to admit are happening, and the ones that make you sit back and go “Oooh. We’re that couple now. Here are a few funny relationship milestones that we all go through. If we’re lucky, they only make us stronger.

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Throwing out tampons with no shame

You stop wrapping them in an entire roll of toilet paper and shoving them into the bottom of his trash. They’re getting one flimsy piece of TP, and they’re sitting right on top.

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Admitting you feel fat

Admitting that you’re being difficult about what you eat tonight because you feel fat. You’re not pretending that gluten gives you stomach problems anymore. You’re admitting that pizza will destroy your feelings of sexiness tonight.

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Keeping a cell phone charger at his place

You can finally admit that you spend more hours at his place than your phone battery can stay charged. Lugging your one and only charger back and forth runs the risk of forgetting it there, so you just buy a duplicate for his place.

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Admitting you’re having stomach problems

“Can you clear the apartment and tell me where your magazines are? Thanks.”

You keep your snacks at his place

You can’t go more than 15 hours without some peanut butter, but he never has peanut butter, and you definitely stay there longer than 15 hours. So you’re keeping a tub there too. And bread. What? You need something to spread the PB on! And milk. Peanut butter and bread make you thirsty.

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Being at his place without him

That first time it just makes sense for you to camp out at his place an hour before he gets there because you were already in the neighborhood, and going home just to come back made no sense.

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Asking for a ride to the airport

Not really asking so much as presuming he’ll be taking you since you have sex on the regular now.

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That first night you don’t have sex

The first night you don’t have sex—not because somebody passes out drunk before you get the chance or because you on your period but just because.

Peeing in front of him

Eventually, waiting another moment to maintain “the mystery” isn’t worth getting a bladder infection over. You’re peeing, and he’s shaving.

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Farting in front of him

You don’t exactly push the fart out, but you don’t hold it in anymore. You believe he loves you enough to get past it.

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Cracking a joke with his mom

When you’re no longer polite and walking on eggshells around his parents but instead, teasing them and even arguing with them a little.

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Not talking for an hour

That first time you realize you’ve been in the same room for an hour, nobody has spoken, and it feels okay.

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Adding his mom on Facebook

When you and his mom know more about each other than your boyfriend knows about either of you because Facebook.

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Scheduling sex

That first time you’re too rushed or too tired to have sex and so you announce another time you will have sex instead.