Orgasms can be quiet a shock to your system. They activate several parts of your brain at once, they may get you to move muscles you didn’t know you had, and (of course) they are insanely pleasurable. For all of these reasons and more, people have been known to do some pretty strange things after climaxing. Here are 15 of the weirdest things men do after orgasm.
High five you
Loosen that grip you’ve had on the headboard, or release that foot you’ve been holding over your shoulder because, apparently you two just won a tennis match or something.
Q&A session
“Did you like when I moved faster in the middle? What about that angle we did towards the end? Did that work for you? Do you like the flavor of the new lube I bought?”
Comments section
Then, of course, there are the men who don’t ask for a critique but instead give an unsolicited one. “When I get behind you can you angle your back a little more? That would really help me.”
Swear
Some men hold on to more than just their semen all day: they hold onto anger, frustration, negative thoughts and more. So, when they finish, they start screaming all the obscenities they didn’t get to say all day.
Thank you
Some men give you an earnest thank you, as if they’re a vacuum salesperson and you invited them in for a glass of lemonade.
Ask for silence
Maybe they’re hearing voices, or congratulating themselves in their head; whatever the reason, some men require silence for the first few minutes after orgasm.
Insist you stay still
“Don’t MOVE! Just stay perfectly STILL.” Some men experience mini orgasms after the main one—kind of like after shocks following an earthquake—but they can only feel them if you don’t breathe.
Get high
Then there are those men who like to grab their bong after an orgasm. No judgment, but it can leave you feeling a little isolated when they feel the need to go to a different world.
Stare into your eyes
They must think they can steal your soul or see their future or something like that.
Grab his phone
Boy; way to make a woman feel like you were just wording an email in your head during that entire romp session.
Fall asleep immediately
Like, while he is still inside of you.
Race for the shower
When you tell some men that you like sex to be dirty, they take it the wrong way, and reach for their loofah immediately after.
Put their underwear back on
They dive under the blankets like a gopher digging a hole to grab their underwear the second sex is over. Apparently, their member can only come outside for intercourse.
Cry
Like I said, men hold in a lot of emotions throughout the day. Sometimes, throughout years. A good orgasm can be like a good meditation session: you just don’t know what might come up.
Fart
The poor guy is just gassy. He’s been clenching his butt cheeks for four minutes. Do you have any idea how large of a fart can build up in four minutes for a naturally gassy fellow?
