My Sexual Inexperience Is Causing Problems With My Wife
Poor communication is frequently cited as a leading marriage killer while an issue as prevalent as crippled marital intimacy often flies under the radar. Recently, a concerned husband asked for advice on Reddit’s Relationships message board because his sexual inexperience appears to be driving a wedge between him and his wife. For the sake of this article, we’ll refer to the poster as “Jake.” Apparently, Jake’s wife has a whole heap of experience in the sex department—and she has tried pretty much everything—which makes her a bit closed-minded in the intimacy department. Jakes writes:
I’ve been married to my wife for nearly 2 years, been with her for about 5 years. She was my first real GF and my first regular sexual partner (3rd partner ever). Now that I’m 30 and married, I keep thinking about how little I’ve experienced sexually, and I would like to go out and try some things with her. Meanwhile, my wife describes her past experiences as ‘Having tried about everything except for a three-way with two guys.’
The situation makes me feel a bit jealous, she’s done so much, and I’ve done so little, occasionally I can get her to talk about past experiences but any time I bring up the idea of doing something now, she shuts down. Now that we’re married I feel like if she says she’s not willing then I’m just sh*t-outta-luck in that department, which sucks!
I’ve tried bringing up the subject and asking her if there is anything ‘different’ she would like to try with me and/or someone else but every time I do, she clams up and says she ‘Just wants a normal husband and kids’ I get the feeling that she’s either ashamed of her past, too embarrassed to talk about her wants sexually or she’s afraid that she’ll somehow lose me in the process. (Or all 3).
What can I do make my wife more receptive to the idea of sexual experimenting?
Any advice for Jake?