Serious Question: Do Y’all Really Like Male Strippers?

September 24, 2015  |  

Last week a friend posted an interesting status on Facebook: “I can’t be the only woman grossed all the way out by male strippers, right?”

I was elated to read her status. Finally, another woman who revealed what many women don’t speak about: how uncomfortable male strippers make us feel. Sure, male strippers can put on a good show, but there is just something about them that can turn a girl off.

For instance, as a high school teen I would bypass a group of male strippers while I traveled to school in New York City every day. Although the strippers never bothered me, their overt sexually presence in the morning while they handed teen girls or mothers with children flyers, did. On the flyer, the strippers would be wearing loin-cloth thongs that accentuated their over-sized eggplant-like penis print. Though it would be a bit much for the morning commute, some women would get that extra pep in their step whenever they saw the strippers. I would hear these women talk about receiving body shots and other pleasantries from these strippers and it made me think, maybe I’m just a young prude and things will change once I get older.

Nope. As the years went by, male strippers repulsed me even more. Once I entered my 20s, I would attend bachelorette or sex toy parties and as I much as I would enjoy these events, whenever the strippers came out I often found myself backing into the corner with my tequila shots. Despite my wallflower attitude, I would cheer the strippers on as they gave “thrust and flex”  performances. But once they started taking off their clothes, I would always think to myself “How cheesy is this?” Perhaps it’s the role-playing costumes, greasy bodies or obnoxiously long and thick faux penises that I don’t necessarily find attractive. Most important, it’s uncomfortable to have someone you don’t know caress your breasts or pretend to perform oral sex on you in a room filled with people. To make matters worse, some strippers love to stick out their tongue (even when it’s yellow), talk to you with halitosis breath or are high during  performances. Yeah, not sexy.

Despite these cons, strippers can be entertaining and look delicious. Yet, when a stripper’s 15-minute “fantasy” becomes over-the-top, I tap out. This is likely because, unlike a romantic relationship or crush, there is nothing to look forward to. When you daydream about your boyfriend, you might unfold a series of romantic events that will eventually lead to something in real life. With a stripper, in the first five minutes you can tell what his real girth is and you’re over it. By not leaving much to the imagination and possible oil stains on your clothes, I rather stand on the sidelines as a stripper flips someone else upside down and pinches their nipples. In other words, I’m good.

Do you really like strippers or just act enthused so your friends won’t clown you?

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