It has been a pretty good week for you. You actually worked 40 hours instead of the 70 you’re used to, the kids have been getting along, and your husband has been helping more around the house. And then, one day your 16-year-old daughter walks in with a sullen look and that bliss bubble you’ve been floating around on all week starts to lose its air very slowly. “Mom I’m pregnant and I’m having twins,” she blurts out as she starts to cry.
This is a scenario that could happen to any parent and no one is ever really prepared for the news that their teen daughter is pregnant. The pregnancy news alone is shocking but the fact that she is pregnant with twins can take your shock to a whole new level. Twins are more common than average in African American women and the rate of twin births in the United States reached 33.7 twin births out of every 1,000 deliveries in 2013, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
So, what’s next?
Comfort her
Well, the first thing you should do after you wipe the shock off of your face is give her a hug because she is more scared than you are. Tell her you guys will get through this together and although you didn’t want her pregnant at such a young age, things will work out.
To keep the baby or seek adoption
There are many teen girls who keep their babies and there are many that give them up for adoption. This is a very personal and emotional choice for many parents and their daughters. The first thing you should do is some research and have a pros/cons list for her about both and then have a meeting with her to find out how she feels. Forcing her to choose one or the other could have major affects on her for the rest of her life so let her be involved in the choice.
A twin pregnancy
Whether it’s twins, triplets or quadruplets, multiple pregnancies can be high risk. It’s important to talk to the doctor to find out if she is having identical twins or fraternal twins because the process in the womb is different. Fraternal twins are “dizygotic,” meaning that they developed from two different eggs fertilized by two different sperm cells, while identical twins are “monozygotic” i.e., they developed from a single fertilized egg that split. The likelihood of identical twins is the same around the world — about 3 in 1,000, while the incidence of fraternal twins varies by geography and ranges from 6 to over 20 per 1,000 deliveries. Also, having her stay off her feet as much as possible, especially towards the end of the pregnancy, will put less weight on the cervix so that she can try to avoid bedrest in the hospital.
Responsibility time
Let her know that she made the choice to become a grown up early and she must be responsible. Whether she chooses to keep the baby or give it up for adoption she must still take good care of her body during her pregnancy. She will have to make sure she eats as healthy as she can, takes her pregnancy vitamins, attends school and maintains her grades. If possible, arrange a family meeting with the father and his parents to discuss the details you’ve researched about twin pregnancies, and a game plan for when the babies will first come home.
Support groups/parenting classes
One of the best things for a teen having a baby is a positive support group. The benefits could include parenting support like a buddy system and even fun social gatherings. Signing her up for a twin parenting class at a local hospital or community center can help too.
