If you’re an independent woman you might as well be by yourself…I said it.
A little over a week ago there was an article posted here about a survey in which 34 percent of men want their spouses to be independent while 66 percent didn’t all while raising their daughters differently. I read the piece as well as the comments and thought to myself “Did anybody ask why before running with it and jumping out of the proverbial window?” Nobody cared about context. Big problem.
For starters, it makes no logistical sense to raise one’s daughter differently than your wife. Truth be told, you can’t do that. Why? Because as a man you attracted, dated, courted and made a decision to spend the rest of your life with a help mate. In a perfect world, that person is the “better half” who is complimentary and brings the best out of them. Psychologically speaking it is all an unconscious process. How often do people wind up marrying someone like their parents? All the damn time. So when a father is raising their daughter guess who he winds up raising them like? Their mother. If they are a good father, it will be with the intent of making their child the new and improved version of their wife.
I am a single father to a little girl. My daughter’s mother is no longer with us; but without even trying I tend to treat and instil in her mannerisms like her mother as well as qualities that I am currently attracted to while looking for a new life partner. Even those traits that I seek in other women are based upon knowing what works for me and what doesn’t because of her mom. I do want my daughter to be an independent woman in the sense of being able to make her dreams and aspirations come to fruition, but not to the point where she is her own man.
My daughter is so keen upon how I raise her that she said to me the other day “Daddy, you need to marry a diva so she can be my stepmom.” I have never taught or used the word diva around her and she used the term in proper context. Not only is that how she sees herself, it is because of how I am raising her and that is the kind of quality she wants in a mother.
I feel as if the concept of wanting someone obedient was taken to an extreme. Ev-ery-one wants someone who is. To be obedient is to listen and comply. Who doesn’t want to be heard by someone they consider their equal? Who doesn’t want their voice to be heard? The problem with the word obedience when it comes to men and women relationships in 2015 is the connotation of submission.
If you don’t want to be a submissive woman in a relationship then you are better off being your own man–and you don’t want a real relationship.
The selfless servitude that comes along with a marriage is both people being submissive to each other. Checks and balances, taking the lead in your respective field, playing a role, compromise, and all of those vows you take are all acts of submission.
There are traditional roles in a marriage. Yes, I do believe that a man is supposed to be the head of the household. I’m sorry but I am genetically built to be a protector from my larger physique to a mindset that typically focuses on the bigger picture so the day to day details that come along with running a home are not my area of expertise. And since it isn’t, I will submit to my wife because she is wired to be that way. No, I may not carry a child or a life-giver. However, statistics could infer that I will give my life and die approximately six-to-eight years earlier taking care of my wife and kids. If traditionally speaking men were the ones who worked
I believe that the best way to sum up the difference in our roles and relationships is that a woman is the power and a man is the authority. Authority is nothing without having power and power can’t make a decision without the judgement that comes along with authority. They need each other. One is the brain and the other is the spine. Yes, the brain may ultimately make decisions one what muscles move, but the spinal cord sends the message to get the job done. The body-or the home-cannot fully function to its best capacity without both parts. They could but it’d be brain dead or paralyzed.
Do you believe that being a submissive woman is how you get your ideal man?
