Welcome to Love School. Class is in session! Abiola’s Love School is a weekly empowered Love Lesson, inspirational class and juicy conversation about love, relationships, dating, sex, commitment and self-worth. Let’s move beyond the surface to experience the true love and intimacy we deserve.
Love Lesson: 12 Ways to Activate Your Feminine Energy
“Why is th*s bitch so happy?” When I first started working in media I would hear and read that often in reaction to me and my work. The funny thing is that I only heard this from women who look like me, as if somehow we were not permitted the full expression of joy and pain, only pain.
Life loves us — and most days I remember that. My favorite degree is that of K.A.W., Kick Ass Woman. Are you in?
We live in a culture of self-flagellation, sacrifice, self-denial, and snark. It’s common to be cold, brittle, and not to care. We treat ourselves like second class citizens and then we’re surprised when our partners do the same. We are starved for feminine energy and our own joy so this is a very special love class. It is in fact a self-love class where you remember, you are your priority. Are you ready to choose sacredness over self-deprecation?
Here’s how to turn up and tune into your succulent feminine energy:
1. What turns you on? Bliss up your life by making a personal hot list of your every turn-on from soft kisses on the back of your neck and skinny dipping to freshly crisp percale sheets and your children’s laughter. Now you have a blueprint for how to live your most joyous life.
2. Have a “Daily Dance Party.” Have you ever heard the expression move it or lose it? Whip your locs back and forth. Whirl it like you mean it. Shake those hips and open up your sacral chakra area for feminine healing. The average song is four minutes. You have four minutes for you, right?
3. Take a page from Cleopatra’s sacred bombshell playbook. Bathe in milk and honey. Luxuriate and treat yourself like a queen. You deserve it.
4. Blow sexy kisses at your reflection. Plan a selfie photo shoot and let your inner Naomi Campbell show all the way out. Posting photos of your meals is fun but this is a private shoot just for you to explore your inner goddess.
5. Tired of feeling ashamed? Shame, blame, and guilt are all emotions that subtract from your quality of life rather than adding to it. Tell all of your soulful secrets to a trusted friend.
6. Go for cash-free shopping. Host a clothing, books, and accessories swap. You don’t have to spend money to have fun. Share your gems with your best girlfriends. One woman’s trash is another woman’s cute treasure.
7. Be unproductive. Run away from home to explore. Put some mileage on your passport. Take an ethical observation safari in South Africa, stomp grapes in Spain. If you’re on a budget take a road trip and get outside of your city. Most people rarely leave their own backyards.
8. Acknowledge your lusts. Step over repression and empower yourself. Tell your honey what you want to do to them and what you’d like done in return in sensual erotic detail. If you’re feeling shy, buy a steamy book or sexy poetry and read it to them.
9. Be embarrassing and emotionally intense. Take a loud stand for an important cause. Stand up for what you believe in. Let your voice be heard.
10. Give those tired pajamas a rest. Wear your favorite lingerie just because. This is just for you.
11. Raise your bombshell I.Q., your Irresistibility Quotient. Walk like your hips don’t lie. Flirt like it’s going out of style. Smile at a handsome stranger and hold it for six seconds.
12. Flex your fullness. Take a naked yoga, erotic cooking, or burlesque dance class. Find your full fullness at laughing yoga, nude painting, aerial yoga, trapeze, trampoline, or tango dancing. Hula hooping, burlesque dancing, belly dancing, and pole fitness are also ways to activate your divine feminine energy.
Catch up on Abiola’s Love Class
- Kia Granberry: Overcoming Abusive Relationships
- Blood, Sweat & Heels: Demetria Lucas
- Sheena LaShay: Rising After Sexual Abuse
- What Men Want from Women
- Derrick Jaxn: ‘A Cheating Man’s Heart’
- Bershan Shaw: Love in The City on OWN
Passionate Living Coach Abiola Abrams gives extraordinary women inspiring advice on healthy relationships, self-esteem and getting the love we deserve. You’ve seen her love interventions in magazines from Essence to JET and on shows from MTV’s “Made” to the CW Network’s “Bill Cunningham Show.” Her upcoming advice guide is named “The Sacred Bombshell Handbook of Self-Love.” Abiola is also the creator of the African Goddess Affirmation Cards. Tweet @abiolaTV.
Photo of Abiola Abrams by Ken Jones Photography