Never in a million years did I think the birth of my child would bring my mother and I closer. While it’s one of those things I can’t pinpoint where or how it went sour, it hurts my heart at the fact that my mom and I have grown distant over the years. Many things have gone unspoken or were swept under the rug for so long that we practically have become experts in keeping up appearances. Our biggest problem: we forgave each other for past transgressions but couldn’t seem to get over the guilt or fear that the other person was still harboring hurt feelings. Stupid, I know.
Once my son arrived, there was an amazing shift, and to this day it’s hard for me to put how all this happened into words. I always thought our relationship would take even more of a backseat with her first grandchild, but it actually did the opposite. I’m sure this list will grow, but here are some of the ways becoming a mother has made my mom and I closer.
There’s something special about firstborns – This is not to say that I won’t love my future children any less, but I now get the milestone in a woman’s life when she has her first child. There’s something special about the bond with your first child (I’m also my mother’s first).
You never understand the love for your child until you have one – I think this was when I realized that no matter what my mom and I go through she will always love me.
You have a new babysitter – Okay, call this one a little selfish but my son is fortunate to have a grandmother that can’t say no to watching her grandchild?
You’ll want to do more things together – My mother and I have already started marking our calendar for family outings and times we can visit each other. This is a far cry from when it was the two of us and the frequency that we saw each other.
You hear about memories from your own childhood – Even though I have a pretty good memory, it always warms my heart to hear my mother talk about her years raising me, the things we use to do, and fun times we had.
It wipes the slate clean – Maybe it’s me but there’s something about being a mother that makes me look at life differently. All of the b.s. and past mishaps (for the most part) go out the window as this child offers a new start at life – a new chance to do things different and get things right.
You respect your mother’s hustle – I have only had my little one for a month and must tip my hat off at mothers everywhere for what they tackle daily. This is a full-time job to say the very least! Having my child and doing the best I can to raise him has made me realize the hustle and hurdles my own mother wet through which makes me appreciate her even more.
You now share something else in common – Again, it’s hard to grasp certain things when you are on the outside looking in.
How has being a mother made you closer to yours?
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