Is This Petty? He Only Gives Me Oral Sex On “Special Occasions”

Oral sex is not for everybody. I get it. But what if you asked for it and your boyfriend tried to tell you that it was something he liked to save for “special occasions”?

In the words of Sweet Brown, “Ain’t nobody got time for that!”

But that is the dilemma of one woman who shared her unique circumstances. She stated that her boyfriend “doesn’t really do the oral sex thing with me.” He tries his hand at going downtown sometimes, and he claims that he enjoys it. But he says that it’s a “special” act that he likes to pull out for “special occasions.” She insists that he’s great at sex and a myriad of positions. Still, he rarely gets down with the licky licky unless it’s their anniversary, her birthday, or he is in a really good mood and feeling more spontaneous than usual. Either way, when she can get him to do it she’s a happy camper. But when she directly asks, and he is all “meh” about it, she gets peeved. They’ve been together for more than a year and it’s something she has put up with for a while. But homegirl is getting frustrated. She provides him with oral sex, but she can’t count on getting it from him.

Basically, homeboy is worse than August Alsina out in these streets. Instead of passing on giving oral sex altogether (not cool by the way), he is basically teasing her with it by doing it every once in a blue moon. But in all seriousness, this is a complicated situation. Of course, you never want to push someone to do anything that they’re not comfortable with trying. If they’re not feeling it and they try it anyway, chances are, you won’t find yourself satisfied (or feeling too good about yourself). And many men refuse to go downtown around the time a woman is just completing her period. So some have good reasons for opting out of providing such pleasures. But this right here? The “special occasions” card being pulled? Can’t say that it’s a good reason.

It would be one thing if he didn’t enjoy it, or there were an odor or issue that caused him to all of a sudden make it a rare occurrence. But he told her that he did like it. And yet, when she asks for it, he plays hard to get. What is really going on?

I would say that she could withhold blow jobs from him if he’s not reciprocating, but if it’s something she genuinely receives satisfaction from doing, then by all means, hop to it. However, this every now and then mess he’s pulling? It’s not going to fly. Especially since many women don’t always feel comfortable asking openly for certain pleasures in the bedroom. So knowing that she has done so, and his excuse is that it’s for “special occasions” is quite frustrating. And it’s not even my problem.

As always, these two need to have a real talk. She needs to let him know of her frustrations. Maybe he’s confused and thought it was something she didn’t always want? Maybe he said he liked doing it but really isn’t secure about his skills with his tongue? You never know, hence the need for a thorough conversation. But once he knows how she feels, things need to change, and the licky licky needs to happen quicky quicky…

But as always, that’s just my opinion. How would you deal with your man only trying to go down on you for “special occasions”? And if she tells him and he’s still not down to go downtown, what then?

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