If you will recall, back in 2011, Jill Scott revealed that she knew it was time to end her six-year marriage to Lyzel Williams when he stopped eating her food. Not only did he stop eating the meals she slaved over a hot stove to make, he left them exactly where they sat to send a message.
“He was pissed [off] for other reasons, but the best way to show me was by leaving what I’d made for him uneaten for days on the kitchen counter. It was a smack in the face.”
As you can see, people don’t play when it comes to home-cooked meals and baked goods. The amount of effort it takes to make an exceptionally good home-cooked meal, and the work it takes to bake a dessert correctly is reason enough for recipients of these foods to be especially appreciative. But in the case of one woman, it was a reason for her to get pissed off.
A friend of mine shared with me a story of one of her girlfriends. The woman was having issues with a guy she was dating because his co-worker clearly had a thing for him, but he wouldn’t do anything about it. The proof was in the pudding. Or better yet, the proof was in the cake. This protagonist, who we will refer to as Valerie, was casually dating a guy (who I will refer to as “Prospective Boo”) for a few months, and they were feeling each other. That, however, does not mean that they had a conversation about exclusivity. Still, they grew pretty close, and because they worked near one another, she would visit him at his office and they would head out for lunch from time to time.
But when he would return, there would always be a treat awaiting him.
According to Valerie, one of Prospective Boo’s co-workers, a White woman named Mary, was baking desserts for him. Cookies, brownies, cakes–whatever. Sweetness galore. Every few days she would bring him some form of dessert, and he was the only one in his office who was given this chocolatey goodness.
This bothered Valerie. Even though they weren’t officially a couple, she told Prospective Boo that she didn’t appreciate Ms. Mary (who is about 10 years older than him) playing Betty Crocker. To her, such expressions of kindness meant that Mary wanted to do more than just bake for him. If you know what I mean…
Prospective Boo, like many men in these situations, was blind to the flirtation happening: “Oh, please. She don’t want me!” He brushed it all off as harmless and never rejected the desserts. So Valerie brushed it off too. Until Ms. Mary gave him a card with her desserts.
In it, she wrote a long letter about how she felt about him, and Valerie found out about it. When she read it, she was piiiiiiissed.
But what Valerie didn’t know was that Prospective Boo never told Ms. Mary about her. The woman wasn’t encroaching upon their relationship because there wasn’t a relationship. She allegedly thought he was single.
Not aware of this until later, Valerie decided to do what Prospective Boo wouldn’t: tell Mary to fall back.
While visiting with him at his job before they headed out for a lunch date, Valerie found Mary and told the woman that she would appreciate if Mary would stop writing Prospective Boo letters. She even said, “I honestly don’t believe he’s interested in you.” Ms. Mary was surprised and a little hurt to find out that he shared the letter with Valerie. But Valerie admits that she was unbothered at the time.
“I said, ‘Yes, he did LET me read it and to me you sound desperate.” Ouch.
After thanking Ms. Mary for understanding her concerns, Valerie exited stage left, leaving the woman with a red face and a whole host of desserts she would have to give to someone else.
Look, I get it. I wouldn’t appreciate a woman at my man’s job going out of her way to provide him with anything–aside from gum. That’s harmless, and you never know when your breath will get to kickin’! However, Valerie and this guy were NOT officially together. He didn’t tell Ms. Mary about her because he didn’t have to. So, if she was truly bothered by the desserts, and Prospective Boo really cared about Valerie’s feelings, he should have stopped playing naive and let Ms. Mary know that while he appreciated her desserts, he wasn’t interested in anything else. That would have been a lot better than sharing Ms. Mary’s letters with Valerie, and then sitting back watching as Val did all the work. Bruh, come on…
But as always, that’s just my opinion. What do you think? Was Valerie petty for being upset about the woman producing desserts for the man she was feeling?
P.S.,
This pair actually went on to make things official. They tied the knot last year. As for Ms. Mary, it’s unclear who is eating her desserts these days…
