Three’s Company: Are You Jealous Of Your BFF’s New Friendship?

May 5, 2015  |  

She’s your girl. The one you call when you have that devastating breakup. She’s also the one you call when you just want to laugh about said breakup that you thought would completely destroy you. She’s always had your back, prayed for you, and been your biggest cheerleader. The two of you do everything together.

But then, out of the blue, you have to deal with your best friend’s new friend, and for some reason, you see green.

If you watch The Real Housewives of Atlanta, you know that Kandi and Phaedra appear to share a genuine and nurturing friendship, on and off the screen. Their relationship was recently tested when Phaedra’s husband Apollo went to jail. Instead of leaning on Kandi for support as many would have assumed, Phaedra found herself leaning on NeNe. While NeNe and Phaedra’s friendship blossomed, Kandi was left in the cold, wondering what happened to their sisterhood.

To make matters worse, Phaedra was telling anyone who would listen that Kandi hadn’t been there for her while she was going through her ordeal. Kandi defended herself and even claimed that Phaedra didn’t call her as she was going through her personal trials, but instead of just confronting Phaedra, she attacked NeNe more than once. She argued that she didn’t understand how Phaedra could trust NeNe when the RHOA veteran had betrayed the trust of nearly everyone on the show at one time or another. (Who could forget when NeNe called Phaedra the “head doctor”?)

This public criticism was unnecessary, and it made it seem as though Kandi was jealous of the pair’s new friendship. However, that bond wasn’t created to spite Kandi. According to Phaedra, they only grew close because NeNe could relate to everything she was going through with Apollo.

During the show’s recent reunion, Kandi and Phaedra got into a heated discussion about the breakdown of their friendship. There was a lot of back-and-forth and Kandi continued to question NeNe’s loyalty while forgetting that it was her loyalty to Phaedra that was being critiqued.

In this case, there were real issues that brought Phaedra and NeNe together, but what happens when your BFF gets close to someone new, and you’re left with feelings of jealousy?

The first thing you need to realize is that just because your BFF is hanging with someone else, it doesn’t mean that she won’t make time for you. You can always schedule lunch, a shopping date, or an evening out on the town to catch up with one another if you feel as though things aren’t in the best place.

The next thing you should remember is that you should keep your emotions in check. You do not own your BFF, and her decision to create new friendships shouldn’t be something that you take personally. Friends branch out from each other all of the time, but if you all are real comrades, staying close, or even reconnecting, won’t be an issue at all.

It’s also not a bad idea to reevaluate your social patterns. Is she the only one you can call when you want to go have a drink or shop for the latest shoes? It can’t hurt to be sure that you don’t solely rely on one person.

On the flip side, if you’re feeling threatened by your best friend’s new friend, don’t hesitate to ask your BFF if everything is ok between the two of you. Whatever issues you may have with your friend don’t have anything to do with her new companion, so there’s no reason to treat said companion in a discourteous manner. And honestly, your BFF may be scared to tell you she’s having issues with you. Everyone is not the best communicator, and just like Phaedra was going around telling everyone but Kandi her grievances, your best bud could be trying to avoid a confrontation with you. Communication is key to any relationship, and if you want to improve your friendship, speak up. Preferably to the person who owes you an explanation.

But if there’s a chance that you may just be suspicious for no reason, you should probably check yourself. Be secure in the friendship that you have with your BFF, and if you know you’ve been slacking, step it up. You can’t blame anyone outside of your friendship for problems within it.

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