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How much does a man’s sense of style play into whether or not you would actually date him?

From that question alone, I’m sure you’re thinking, ‘Oh yeah. That’s petty as hell.’ Allow me to explain.

While checking out an event for work last weekend, my friend and I met a very nice guy. He had a warm demeanor and was very polite. He was also handsome and well-spoken. As we talked to him about the event, we couldn’t help but notice that he was quite built. A trainer, his arms were bulging out through his blazer and his chest was pronounced within his shirt. That’s what stood out about him to me. But as for my friend, she noticed that he had bright eyes, a bright smile–and a bright a** outfit on. And it really bothered her.

He was a very nice guy, something my friend and I agreed on. But she couldn’t move past what she considered an extremely loud outfit: burnt orange fitted pants; a checkered vest; a paisley print bow tie; and a bright blue blazer. To her, it screamed “CORNY!”

I couldn’t believe that his attire had become a red flag of sorts:

“Are you kidding me?! He’s cute, girl!”

But she wasn’t budging.

“I just can’t. It’s just too much and it makes me think that he’s extra. And if he’s extra, he might be wack in bed.”

Well, damn. If there was ever a reason to step your style game up, people thinking your d**k game is weak might be a big one. But that was what confused me about the whole situation. It wasn’t like this individual came in looking raggedy. Not at all. He may have tried a little harder than he needed to, but he was well-dressed and just seemed like someone who has a genuine appreciation for fashion. Considering the many men who STILL walk around with their underwear hanging out in public, this guy was a breath of fresh air. Well, to me at least. As for my friend, she made it clear that a man who does too much in the fashion department doesn’t light her fire.

Interesting enough, my sister said the same thing when I told her this story. She’s very married, and a Mrs. to a guy who keeps it pretty simple with his fashion choices, but she said that when she was single and dating, a guy who tried too hard to look like a Fonzworth Bentley clone could NOT get it.

“Yeah, I agree. It’s just too much. Just from the way you described his outfit, I’m not feeling it and he does sound extra.”

Their feelings on this topic were new to me, as most women I know haven’t said out loud that a man who dresses too over-the-top is a turn-off. Instead, these women are usually focused on things deemed more important, including personality, stability, being a good-natured person and having good looks in general. So I thought I would ask you all how you felt about this: Can a man’s style be so bad or gaudy that you find yourself not attracted to him, even when he’s a good looking guy?

For me, it’s not something I really ever paid that much attention to. I’ve dated guys who dressed pretty simple and straightforward. I’ve dated guys who dressed in so many oversized sweats and jeans in my younger years that it felt like Christmas when they actually put on a button-down shirt or a suit.

My current love is a quite stylish J. Crew addict who keeps his clothing fitted and sophisticated. On second thought, I might actually pay attention to what a man has on because I think it was his style that first caught my attention when we met: Calvin Klein eyeglasses that were very unique in size; a dark gray thermal shirt that showed off his biceps; a green reversible vest that I loved, because green is my favorite color. But had he walked into my life with overalls on, it would have been okay, because his personality shined through. Almost three years later, I still think he’s one of the chicest cats I’ve ever met (next to my dad of course).

But what I’m getting at is that while a man’s style may be a distraction if it’s over-the-top, if what he’s working with behind the clothes (and that’s not a sexual reference) manages to shine through, then he could very well be a great catch. Besides, a man can change his clothing; but a man with a sh*tty personality can’t do anything about that. Priorities…

So is this a petty problem? Or have you honestly found yourself turned off by a man’s sense of style?

 

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