So Wait, I’m ‘Bougie’ If I Don’t Take Hand-Me-Downs?

March 18, 2015  |  

Isn’t it funny how people are desperate for you to do what they want, but if you resist, you’re the most horrible person in the world?

I love the concept of saving money which is why I try to do so as much as possible for my family to cut costs. I’ll clip coupons, buy off season and use flash sale deals just as fast as anyone else you know. That doesn’t mean I want to take your secondhand items all the time. Am I a horrible person for not doing so?

All of us buy used at some point in our lives. It’s only inevitable. Whether it’s a car, a house or college textbooks, there are certain things that just seem more economical when they’re aren’t spanking fresh.

Like many folks, I scan my home each season for items we no longer use. Rather than have them collect dust and take up space, I pack them up for a trip to a local drop-off center that accepts lightly-used goods. I get the importance of paying it forward and giving back. Not everyone is fortunate enough to buy things new–or wants to for that matter. In the same breath, that doesn’t automatically mean that I myself will take everything a friend or family member no longer wants because they’re trying to make room for newer items of their own.

Can you believe someone had the nerve to call me “bougie” because I said no thanks to their child’s old clothes? Okay.

I try my best not to let things upset me, but this one did. Yes I am pregnant and due in a couple months. Yes I do need to stock up on some infant items, but guess what: I had a child last year! There are tons of hand-me-down items our newest addition (another boy) will receive because they were barely used (or never even worn) by his older brother. When I say I’m good with most of my needs, I’m not lying, but don’t think it’s fair I’m labeled “bougie” because of my desire to purchase a few extra items. Is the money coming out of your pocket or somehow taking away from your table? I don’t think so.

Perhaps there’s a bigger issue at hand with this particular friend; I would’ve never expected such a reaction. She never offered anything to me when I was pregnant with my first child, so I don’t understand what’s the big deal now. Who knows, maybe she needs a hug. Or an Olivia Pope-sized glass of wine.

I think it’s important for all of us to pay attention to our good deeds and the intention behind them. If you’re giving to give, there should be no strings attached or hard feelings if a person doesn’t want to accept. It doesn’t mean they’re evil or hate what you have. Maybe they actually have things covered and don’t feel any additional items would get the proper use they deserve.

I personally never trying to force anything I have on someone else. Sure I’ll give a heads up if I plan to give something away, but who am I to say “Hey, you should have this and really need to take it?”

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