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Confidence isn’t always a turn on—not when you’re confidently doing these awkward and painful things! Here are 15 of the worst things to do in bed with a guy.
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Stop to take a shot/a hit
Maybe it just makes it more fun for you to get a little liquored up or get stoned, but do that before sex has started. If you stop in the middle to get drunk/high, your partner thinks he’s just not good in bed and you have to find a way to get through it.
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Laugh at dirty talk
Even if you don’t take yourself seriously enough to do dirty talk, at least keep a straight face when he does it.
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Ignore that he’s not hard
If he’s not hard, don’t just try to get it in there anyways. It’s not comfortable for anyone, and it’s rude.
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Treat him like a sex toy
Unless you know that girl on top totally does it for him, don’t just hop on top of him, orgasm immediately, and roll off. Give him a shot. Literally.
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Unannounced a** play
Nobody ever just sees this coming. He needs a warning. Actually, he needs you to ask first. He might say no. See video.
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Slapping it
Slapping might be sexy, but you can absolutely not, under any circumstances, slap his dick. NO.
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Take off the condom
If he’s just finished, his member is extremely sensitive. Only he knows how that thing needs to come off.
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Sit on his face
Even though people talk about sitting on someone’s face, nobody wants you to literally sit on their face. A guy needs to breathe.
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Wake the neighbors
Being loud in bed is a compliment to him, sure. But being so loud that his neighbors complain is so awkward for him.
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Compare
“You’re so much better at this than the last guy.” No no no no no no no.
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Check for your period
If you need to check for that, do it privately in the bathroom. He doesn’t want to see you practically finger yourself, then look at your finger and then say, “We’re good to go!”
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Say you need to pee
Here’s a good rule of thumb: don’t mention any of your vagina’s other functions during sex.
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Lie about his size
Don’t tell him he has the biggest member you’ve ever seen. Now he can’t trust anything you say, or your reaction to sex, or your orgasm.
Keep your clothes on when he doesn’t
If you’re both going for a hot, quickie-in-the clothes thing, fine. But if he’s nude and you keep your clothes on, he feels like you don’t really want to do this.
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Tell a hookup story
Sharing funny stories while you’re snuggling in bed before or after sex is a great aphrodisiac. Telling funny stories about your past hookups: not so much.
