I don’t believe in fairytales when it comes to love. A mixture of experiences and observations won’t allow me to. But before you write me off as jaded or bitter, I must admit, I still believe in fairytale moments. In addition to the romance, I believe in soulmates, or at least being connected soulfully. Basically, I have hopes of a healthy and happy relationship that lasts longer than someone’s mood. I want to grow old with someone, accepting him for all that he is and all that he’s not. I want to make my partner better and I want the actions to be reciprocated. This hope stands, despite many relationships I see nowadays that have me second-guessing my wants. I can’t help but wonder, am I tripping for expecting more from a relationship than just a temporary situation that allows me to say I have a man?
I’m not a serial relationship girl, meaning I don’t get into committed relationships often. I take my time. Some might say that it’s possibly too much time, but that’s another story for another day. Because of what I like to consider a ‘careful approach’, my relationships usually last for a while, though they are far and few between. Although I’ve been single for longer than I would particularly like, I’m waiting patiently. Well actually, I’m not waiting patiently, but nonetheless, I’m waiting, for the right situation.
I’m often questioned about my careful approach to jumping into committed relationships, as most ‘careful women’ over the age of 30 are. The answer I give is that I have yet to find the person who wants what I want and respects relationships the way I respect them. So instead of being committed, I simply date while most of the women I know have boyfriends who they’re trying to accept and love. Basically, they settle because they believe relationships aren’t meant to be perfect. I agree that they’re not supposed to be, but I’m sure they’re meant to be better than just a settling scenario.
As time continues to pass and I get older, I sometimes find myself questioning my expectations. Am I crazy for actually wanting to like, love, and admire my significant other? Am I being too ambitious by hoping that I meet a man open to learning how to love me and that I can learn from as well? Am I being naive for wanting someone who makes me laugh and who gets me, both my silly and serious side? And more importantly, am I asking for too much by wanting someone who understands the importance of commitment and loyalty in a relationship?
I’ve often heard that my expectations are too high when I speak with people I know who are in relationships. Initially, I shunned their suggestions because I thought my Mr. Right was soon coming and I would prove them all wrong. Well, he hasn’t showed up and I haven’t proved anything to the naysayers. But what I have started to do is question my hopes, though only briefly. I have never been one to get excited over mediocrity and I don’t think it should be any different when it comes to my relationships. Finding a man I love, like, admire and who feels the same about me, is certainly not asking for too much. But in order to find something that surpasses the norm these days, I am cool with just waiting.
