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You can almost guarantee that nothing in your browser history is as weird as some of these bizarre, but very real sexual fetishes. You’ll feel sorry for the people into some of these; they have to go through a lot to get off.
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Forniphilia
This one sounds so dirty but might be one of the cleanest and most control-freak-oriented fetishes on here. Forniphilia is a condition of being turned on by humans serving as furniture. In other words, this person might like to sit on you like a bench. Not sure when or how actual sex happens.
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Mucophilia
If you ever meet someone at a bar who seems very attracted to the fact that you’re sneezing and blowing your nose, he could suffer from mucophilia—sexual arousal from consuming mucus.
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Liquidophelia
This person has to work very hard not to spill on himself at a professional event; liquidophelia means someone gets aroused when his genitals are submerged in liquid.
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Aptemnophilia
There are plenty of people out there who will love an amputee. In fact, if they are subject to this fetish, they’ll exclusively love amputees.
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Symorophilia
Someone who suffers from this perversion could never be a cop; symorophilia is the condition of being turned on by witnessing an accident such as a car crash.
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Dendrophilia
Dendrophilia means a sexual interest in trees. Hey, at least it’s a victimless crime. And maybe certain, er, human substances act as good fertilizer?
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Mechanophilia
Don’t all men have this one? This fetish means being turned on by cars and other large machines.
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Autonepiophilia
Can you say, “Mommy issues” anyone? This fetish means being aroused by dressing oneself as a baby.
Ursusagalmatophilia
Another victimless crime—unless of course the person steals his objects of arousal from little children—this means a person is turned on by teddy bears.
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Formicophilia
If your date gets upset with you for trying to clear the ground of ants before setting up your picnic, he might be a victim of this fetish which involves being turned on by having small insects crawl on a person and bite him.
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Agalmatophilia
Maybe mall cops are necessary after all; agalmatophilia is the condition of being turned on by statues and mannequins.
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Oculolinctus
Eye doctors should have to be scanned for this perversion before getting their license; those with oculolinctus are turned on by licking someone’s eyeballs.
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Menophilia
Watch out for men trolling the tampon isle of the drug store; they might suffer from menophilia, which involves being aroused by the sight, smell or taste of menstruating women.
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Dacryphilia
This is just a fancy word for jerk; it means being turned on by tears or crying. At least if your partner suffers from this, you know most arguments will end in great sex.
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Eproctophilia
Does your new boo keep taking you to Mexican restaurants? He might suffer from eproctophilia; being turned on by flatulence.
