We have all heard stories of, or experienced the dreaded mama’s boy, the man looking for a woman just like his mother—a woman who cooks like Mommy; a woman who irons his drawers like Mommy and a woman who strokes his pubescent ego like Mommy. In the past, mothers seemed to be the ones doing all of the giving, only desiring to feel needed in return. Fast forward to the 2000s and the boom of single mothers and you’re dealing with a new type of monster, the single-mama mama’s boy.
Whether you’re watching the NFL draft, BET Awards or ministering in a prison, you are almost guaranteed to hear someone say their motivation to be successful was the ability to provide financially for their mothers and families. Unfortunately, many young black men are witnesses to their mothers’ emotional and financial struggles. In the wake of absent fathers, they are burdened with the responsibility of heading households, which includes being Mommy’s rock. At times, single mothers subconsciously displace adult issues and emotions onto children, especially their sons. They begin to depend on their presence for the comfort and protection that comes with male companionship. They rely on them for support and encouragement, and the small pieces of romance their lives lack (you know, the mothers who get angry when their sons take their girlfriend out on Valentine’s Day instead of them.)
If mothers are “depending” on their sons to meet the needs that would otherwise be met by a significant other, what is left for potential girlfriends…or should I say, the “other woman?” Is it the stifling affect that these mothers have on romantic relationships that incites the anger outwardly projected by their sons?
The only positive male experience in a woman’s life should not be with the one she raised; and, no child should feel indebted to their mother because she is alone.