Today, during my hourly internet surf I found a video, a vlog of a woman explaining why you should never trust a Black woman who has never seen The Color Purple. (I’ve since lost said video–because it was a YouTube suggestion but if anyone finds it let me know.) It was certainly made in jest but she also raised some good points. Why, exactly haven’t you seen The Color Purple? Lol. But it almost made me think about the type of women of which I’m leery. See what I’m talking about.
Women whose eyebrows are unkempt
If you’ve caught me on an off day, I’m sure some of you’re thinking “Well, she’s one to talk.” But in my defense my eyebrow hair grows super thick, dark and fast. And I’ll only look crazy for a week at best before I handle that situation. But we’re not talking about me. I’m speaking about a woman whose eyebrows are consistently in disarray. She’s not necessarily a bad person but she’s suspect, no doubt.
Women who talk about their best friends
Can I be real? We all talk about everybody. But if you know a girl and she’s gone out of her way to introduce her friend as her “best friend” and she’s talking about that same woman like a dawg and not with love and concern, then that woman is no good. And you’d be a fool to tell her any personal information about yourself because it’ll be all over the evening news before you finish your sentence.
“Women” who don’t have an avatar
Working on the internet opens one up to a lot of criticism and outright persecution at times. And though I thought it was have an adverse affect, the scrutiny increased once we, the MN staff, started putting our faces out there. People can be cruel when they’re not speaking directly to your face. There are all types of suggestions about what you should look like, shouldn’t be wearing, should be doing with your makeup etc. And while some of the comments can truly hurt your feelings sometimes, if I look to the left of your rudeness and see that you don’t have an avatar, everything you’ve just said is null and void. If you’re going to criticize my physical appearance at least have the balls to put yours on display as well. Otherwise, I’ll be forced to assume that you have something to hide.
Women who say ‘That’s why I don’t have female friends…’
I don’t even know how to explain this one other than to say that if you’re a woman and you intentionally avoid the company of other women I’m giving you an epic sideeye and feeling sorry for you at the same damn time. There is no shortage of love, support and encouragement to be found from friendships or close relationships with women. You’re missing out.
Women who sing Salt N Pepa’s “I’ll Take Your Man” with a little too much conviction
If you find yourself riding in the car or at some old school themed party and Salt N Pepa’s “I’ll Take Your Man” comes on, pay close attention to the women around you. Of course we all know the song and may sing along enthusiastically; reminiscing on days gone by, but if the woman next to you is spitting the verses and chorus with a concentrated straight face, like she’s reciting her mantra…beware.
Women who use the word THOT
I’m fully aware that prostitution is the oldest profession around but I seriously believe that if we knew their back stories, we wouldn’t even call most prostitutes hoes. They don’t even deserve it, honestly. Ever since I graduated from middle school I’m just not into calling women hoes anymore. Because it’s just yet another way we shame women for being sexually expressive while a man who behaved similarly is just a man being a man with sexual desires. I can’t. And while I’m not fond of hoe, thot makes my skin crawl. It’s played out and has been directed at every type of woman and even babies. Soo over it. Been over it actually.
Women who believe feminists have dismantled the Black family
I get it everyone is not going to identify as a feminist. The dogma behind the movement can be problematic to both men and even women on occasion. But let’s not get carried away. Of all the forces to blame for the destruction of the Black family, feminism is so far down on the list, it really doesn’t deserve to be mentioned.
Women who’ve never seen their vagina
Ladies, love yourself, all of you. Look at your vaginas. Otherwise, I’ll be forced to believe you don’t love yourself and if you don’t love you…how can you be trusted?
Women who never have a compliment for another woman
If you’re one of those look every woman up and down types but you never part your lips with a kind word, you’re probably one of the jealous ladies who believe that noticing or highlighting the positive attributes of another woman somehow dims your light.
The only other Black woman at the company function who won’t speak to you
I’m sorry if we’re the only two Black people, specially women in the room and you go out of your way to either avoid or snub me and we have no beef, then you’re probably the same type of woman who believes there’s only room for one Black girl. And I can’t trust you. So, actually it’s probably best that we didn’t speak.
Now it’s your turn. What are some behaviors from women that let you know they cannot be trusted.
