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Dear China,

An ex called me at midnight while my boyfriend was over. Now he believes there is something going on between us but there’s not! What do I do to convince him he’s the only one?!

Sincerely,

Aaarrghh

Dear Aaarrghh,

What did your ex want from you at midnight? Did he have an emergency? Was he drunk-dialing? Did he just want to have a heart-to-heart conversation? Is he just used to calling you at midnight?

If he had an emergency – e.g. something drastic happened at that time of the night and you were the only person he could possibly call, then no big deal, your boyfriend should be sensible enough to understand the situation.

If he was drunk-dialing, you need to tell him to never involve you in such silliness again.

If he wanted to have a heart-to-heart conversation, you need to tell him that you’re no longer available for heart-to-heart conversations, especially those to be had at midnight.

If he’s just used to calling you at midnight, then he needs to get “un-used to” calling you at that time, because it’s clearly not a comfortable situation for you or your man.

As far as convincing your man that he’s the only one, it shouldn’t be rocket science. He either is, or he isn’t. Handle your above business and let him see the situation for what it is; let him know exactly what the situation was, and how you have now handled it. Then, move on. Anything else beyond the above mentioned suggestions is idle drama, which you don’t need to engage in a relationship. In most truthful and secure relationships, no one needs “extra” convincing.

À Bientôt,

Madame C.

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