MadameNoire Featured Video



From YourTango 

For some couples, the decision to have children is something that was decided well before marriage. But for many couples, choosing whether or not to have children can be one of their most daunting issues. Because this decisions is irreversible, it’s one that can’t be taken lightly.

Sometimes the argument for parenthood is obvious: parenthood can be infinitely rewarding on many levels. There is no bond like that between a parent and child. Having children can also create a special bond between you and your partner as co-parents and may ultimately lead to the incomparable joy of having grandchildren later on.

At the same time, raising a child is an enormous task and its intensity cannot truly be imagined until experienced.  Parenting means an incredible energetic, emotional, and financial commitment. Every aspect of life changes when parenting and this new life will account for much of your time. It may even define you!

Exploring the question of whether or not to have children can bring your deepest values, joys and fears to the surface.  Start the conversation well before you plan to start your family to make sure you two are on the same page. Here are four of the most important considerations to talk through with your partner.

1. It can’t be about your friends.

The decision of whether or not to have a child needs to be made solely by you and your partner. Yet the pressure from others can cloud your thinking. Just because others around you are starting families doesn’t mean it’s the right time for you. Don’t let the desire to maintain your friendships by ensuring you are in similar lifestyles be a factor in making the best decision for you and your partner. Ask yourselves, “Why do we really want children?”

It’s also not your parents’ decision. Many couples feel pressured by their parents who want grandchildren. Your parents may want grandchildren and be disappointed if they don’t have them, but they’re not entitled to grandchildren. Conceiving out of guilt is not going to serve anyone in the long run. Ask yourselves, “Are we ready to make parenting our top priority? If so, what sacrifices are we specifically ready and willing to make?”

Read more about family planning at 

Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN