As young girls we visualized being swept off of our feet by our Prince Charmings. Oh how times have changed. Now we’re lucky if our Prince Charming even arrives, let alone whoo or wow us. While the hope of finding love isn’t a far-fetched notion, the beliefs that we shared as young girls are fairy tales that have been replaced with the somewhat harsh realities of what being in love really entails.
As we’ve grown out of our naïve anticipations we suddenly realize that those fairy tale love stories must have been reserved for fairies only, because real love is sometimes far from what we could have ever imagined. While love isn’t always a fairy tale, we still hold on to the hope of finding and sustaining real love, just as we did as young girls.
Now as adults we don’t necessarily have to let go of the ‘fairy tale’ love stories completely, but for the sake of not being naïve, we should re-mix these beliefs with doses of ‘real life’.
FAIRYTALE: Love Is Easy When Mr. Right Comes Along
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When we were younger we all thought that love would be easy. As naïve young girls, we couldn’t have been any more wrong. How was a young girl supposed to know how it feels to have your heart crushed over and over and all the other difficulties that sometimes accompany love?
While there will be some issues that may arise while in love, as adults we’ve learned that you have to take the bitter with the sweet or in the words of soul singer Betty Wright ‘No Pain, No Gain’. Now we understand that if the good outweighs the bad, it’s worth it; but problem free love isn’t realistic.
‘FOR-REAL’TALE: Love isn’t easy, but real love is worth it. You’ve got to take the bitter with the sweet.
FAIRYTALE: First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage
If you live long enough, you will fall in love. In a perfect, fairytale world the first person you love will be the one you marry. Wrong. Maybe you’ll love many, maybe not; but love doesn’t always equate to marriage.
‘FOR-REAL’TALE: You may love a few before marrying the one!
FAIRYTALE: Love Is Right Under Your Nose
Unless you’re in constant ‘sniff mode’ for Mr. Right, your ‘knight in shining armor’ may not be the one you expected or the one you’ve convinced yourself that you ‘least expected’. He may not be your high school or college sweetheart; and truthfully he may not be in your life at the moment.
‘FOR-REAL’TALE: College or high school sweethearts may be just that: a college or high school fling. You may have never crossed paths with Mr. Right but that doesn’t mean he isn’t coming.
FAIRYTALE: Love Comes Without Dating
As young girls we didn’t completely understand the idea of dating. Did we even really consider the ‘getting to know someone’ phase?
For some women dating is exciting, while others consider it a tedious process that results in no luck. Still, dating is a necessary process as we prepare for Mr.Right.
‘FOR-REAL’TALE: Dating is necessary. While it may not always result in a love connection, how will we know if we don’t date?
FAIRTYALE: Money Ain’t A Thing
It’s not just about money but all of the other things that lead arguments, fights, or trust issues. As young girls, we didn’t realize that sometimes even when you’re in love with someone, you have to consider other factors that could be deal breakers in a relationship. Yes, you may love him but is he financially stable or have the potential to be?
‘FOR-REAL’TALE: Loving someone is great, but other factors come into play when determining if someone is worth the long haul.
FAIRYTALE: Prince Charming Will Carry You Away to a Castle
This fairy tale originates from most of the elaborate Disney films our young minds were fed. These days unless you’re one of Bravo’s featured Housewives, which comes with a whole different set of issues, our castles have turned into apartments or modest homes.
‘FOR-REAL’TALE: As adults we realize that it’s about building something together and not necessarily walking into a million dollar situation.
FAIRTYALE: Love Is Enough
Love conquers all. Doesn’t it? Well yes and no. This concept seems so easy but as adults we know that love sometimes isn’t enough to endure the hard times when it comes to relationships.
‘FOR-REAL’TALE: Love isn’t always enough to maintain a relationship. Sometimes you have to love from a distance.
FAIRYTALE: Love Ends Happily Ever After
Well it ended happily for Cinderella, right? Well in real life, it doesn’t always end the way we planned or could have ever wildly imagined; but that doesn’t mean it’s not love.
‘FOR-REAL’TALE: Just because love doesn’t end the way we anticipated or planned; it can still be our own ‘real life’ fairytale. As long as love exists, whether perfect or not, if you’ve found someone who makes you smile more than frown, laugh more than cry, and uplifts you, that can become your fairytale.
